Newcomers to this thread: A word of warning. It does not have a happy ending.

Not sure why I'm writing this. It's probably going to be depressing. It is for me, and probably for you. Maybe I just want other people to know. I'm not looking for sympathy. Maybe it will help. Might erase it and not post it after all. Could be just because you don't know me in real life. You have been warned.

Hospitals are one of those things that people hate and praise at the same time. Modern medicine is a miracle and a curse. Not sure what it is right now. I'm going to keep some things vague, but who knows you'll probably be able to read between the lines.

My father had a minor surgery about a month ago if I remember correctly. It didn't heal quite correctly, so they were going to redo it. Monday the 8th was when it was scheduled. Very early in the morning. The doctor had some emergencies come up and it was cancelled. Annoyingly there was another doctor appointment that he had for later in the day that had to be cancelled (again) due to it having a conflict with this operation. Been trying to get to that doctor for months but it kept conflicting with something considered "more important". Dammit, no it wasn't.

The operation was rescheduled for Friday the 12th at a more reasonable hour. No emergencies so it proceeded as normal. The first time the operation was performed, it took about 45 minutes then that doctor came out and talked with my mother and myself about it. Should of been about the same. About two to two and a half hours later he came out to talk to us. The procedure took about what it should of, but when he was in the recovery room, my father complained about a pain that did not relate to the operation he just had.

They decide to keep him overnight and do bloodwork. If everything was okay, he could probably come home on Saturday. So we went home. The next day my mother called him and he said that the doctors said they didn't see any problems but were going to keep him another night since one thing was still low and wanted to get his levels back up and it takes along time to do the infusion. We stayed home. I should stop and add right now that the reason we didn't see him on Saturday was because the hospital is not our local one but one that is over an hour away, and unfortunately we can't afford the gas to be running there every day. My father is self-employed and I work for him. Jobs have really dried up this year for some reason, but the bills keep coming. Anyway, it sounded like we would be able to bring him home on Sunday. A you can probably infer, that is not what happened.

On Sunday my mother called and talked with him and said that he would be coming home, but he didn't know exactly when yet. So he said to call back later. He said something odd though, and my mother told me about it. About ten minutes later, my mother received a call from the hospital. Something very BAD had happened and we had to go now.

We had just pulled into the hospital parking lot and we received another call from the hospital. He was stable but was going into surgery very shortly and she had to sign some consent forms. (Otherwise it would of been by telephone consent instead).

The surgery went faster than we expected. He talked with us and told us what he did, and what might of happened. It surprised us but it made sense. Just didn't recognizes the symptoms was happening for a while now were because of that, and not because the other thing he was dealing with. Now do you remember the appointment that had to be cancelled, I told you about earlier? That doctor would of discovered the problem and probably have admitted him to the hospital that day to have it fixed.

He's been sedated since Sunday. It's Tuesday night right now as I write this and he's still sedated. We will be going over on Wednesday. Don't know how much longer they are going to keep him sedated. Right now I'm afraid of what will be when he is awake. It's the not knowing that is the worst.

So we are now to the miracle or curse of the story. If this happened anywhere but the hospital I most likely would not be worrying about the what ifs but be talking in the definitive. So they were able to react immediately. And everybody there says that surgeon who worked on him happens to be the absolute best at that hospital for the procedure. It's just the time between when the BAD thing happened and he was stabilized is the problem right now and not knowing.

This did help me by writing it down after all. Also this is why I have not been doing anything fancy with the Reactions threads recently. I know some of you may say that I should just forget about that, but it's some semblance of normal that takes my mind off things for the moment. Short that it might be.

My grandfather had a stroke about a decade ago. He had to have stints put in. He turned out ok, just some sluring in his speach, and that got better over time. The not knowing is tough, but the docs know what they're doing. Just let them do their jobs and try to keep a positive attitude.

We're here for you man.

Well, I still don't want to say exactly what happened, but he didn't have a stroke. That's not what occurred.

Wednesday they tried to wake him up but he reacted too much to the breathing tube, so they returned him to the previous sedation level he was at. Not sure if they tried on Thursday since we weren't there. Going back to see him on Friday.

Nurse told us she asked him at one point if he was too warm, and he did move his head slightly back and forth. Also she asked him... I can't remember what it was, but he shake his head slightly then as well. I guess that is good, but if a question elicited a yes response as well it would of been a bit more comforting (to me). Though most likely he was nice and toasty since he was always cold it seemed. In a vehicle, I (or my mother) would be cooking to death and he would be comfortable. I have to say that the "Bair Hugger" they put on him would be a nice thing to have in the winter time.

Oh kind of funny thing...depending on where your mind wanders that is. He gags pretty easily. He will sometimes gag just brushing his teeth for one. The nurse said she didn't have much of a gag reflex, though she never had a tube down her throat so she wouldn't know about that. We didn't ask how she discovered she didn't have much of a gag reflex.

my dad had a Serious Medical Incident™ earlier this year. He wound up in the hospital for a week. The doctors said that if this had happened just 5 years ago it would have been untreatable. Modern medical science is making gigantic leaps every day. Keep the faith. Trust the doctors.

Well... He's still not waking up nor following commands. Though he was moving his legs and arms much more today, and the nurse said he was reacting to some stimuli now.

The nurse told us when we were there today that the neurologist did an EEG the other day. Haven't heard anything as of yet. Though how everyone is acting, there is apparently something still up there, since after the CT sometime late last week the neurologist was talking about waiting for him to wake up. Though this was filtered through the nurse since we didn't talk to the doctor directly.

If he doesn't wake up soon they will have to do a tracheotomy, and also put in a feeding tube. Too much chance of infection with how they are now. Just not how I was hoping to finally get that breathing tube out. You can tell he's not very comfortably with it in. Though I don't think many would be.

To keep costs down we have been bringing our own lunch. Damn cafeteria is expensive. Though they do have section that a local/chain restaurant (about about 12 of them I think) will bring in food to spice things up. If it was Papa John's today then we would of gotten that instead since the price wasn't too bad (since we had it the one day) but it was Chinese from Panda Express. Unfortunately Papa John's is scheduled for tomorrow. Damn. Been awhile since we've had that. Subway on Friday I think.

Interestingly we used to have a Papa John's in our town, but one day it closed up very suddenly. Signs were put up in the windows about remodeling and new management and "soon". Months passed and nothing happened. Then one day a bunch of activity started happening. Oh good! But "new management" was not quite what I was expecting... It's a Little Caesars now.

I hope things get better, man. I really do.

I do not have good news.

Talked with the the coronary doctor and he said his heart is doing great considering what happened. Any other time that would be considered great news.

Talked with the palliative care nurses today. Finally heard about what his EEG showed. As feared, it is bad. The CPR took much too long. Also there appears to something wrong with his stomach now. We have a hard choice about his future care...or removal.

...

Just as I was about done writing this and about to post it, my mom told me that my father's sister, her two children and maybe one of their spouses are coming over Sunday and we are all going to go over there together. Wonderful, now even more stress. I know, I know, they are family and they want to see him before the end. If I had a choice, I wish I didn't have to see him like this.

Though I kind of thought something like this might happen when my mother finally contacted his sister. She kept putting it off since she was hoping for better news since my mom knew she wouldn't take it well. She didn't. Also we found out she was still at work...

This is depressing to read isn't it?

Okay then... The cafeteria didn't have pizza today. It was a local Mexican restaurant. Their food is really good since I've eaten there many times, but it is expensive. Ate our regular lunch. Later as we were going home we were trying to think of what to make for supper. I remembered we had all we needed to make pizza. I made a pizza with pepperoni, green olives, and onions. It was good.

Wonder if I should rename this thread to "Roller Coasters" instead of Hospitals. You start off at the bottom, then you have highs and lows, but you will still end up on the bottom no matter what you do.

Cremation.

Even not having a service, viewing, burial, nor whatever else that funeral homes do, it is still going to cost around $2500. And they want it paid-in-full within 30 days after we receive the ashes.

Even though they do take care of absolutely everything with that price, it was a good thousand more than I thought it wold be. Financially, this is going to do more than just hurt, it could permanently wound.

Talking about how much a traditional funeral could cost... My father was an executor of estate back in 2002 for a family friend who was 101. It cost $15,000, the casket alone was $8000. Ridiculous.

Sorry for your loss...

There's often trauma when someone we care about leaves this life.

Zil I give you my love and remember all the great times and the moments of closeness

For what it's worth, you have my condolances.

Thank you everyone.

It still doesn't feel real. Kind of detached like this is a movie not reality. Someone is brain-damaged, there's no hope of recover, and the family ends up stopping the life-support. You see it all the time, but you never ever expect you will have to live it.


Speaking of movies... We went to the movies together about every one or two weeks. It depended on what we were interested in but I have to say that we on average would see 30 or more movies a year in the theater. Last movie we saw was the predictable as hell -which was exactly as I thought it would be- movie "San Andreas". I'm kind of annoyed that was the last one we saw together. Though it was entertaining. Stupid, but entertaining.

Sending my sympathies... very sorry for your loss.

Sympathies, Zil...

...it gets better. *hug*

Sorry, Zil. I know what that's like.