And now we return with another ten pages of Careful What You Wish For. For those of you just joining us, here's how it works. The first guy makes a wish. The next guy comes up with a bizarre, silly, ironic, or crazy way the wish could go wrong if it came true. Just think Monkey's Paw (Google it). It's that simple.

I wish asparagus tasted good so I wouldn't mind eating it.

Did you know that asparagus makes your urine smell? Congratulations, you now have a smellier toilet!

I wish chocolate was health food.

OK, but to facilitate this, the metabolism of every human on the planet was accelerated horribly. Congratulations, now we're all starving.

I wish for a better mobile phone.

Congrats you have a better mobile phone. To bad its from the future, and programmed in a language nobody can figure out.

I wish I had the power to create a seemily normal accident on others whenever I wished.

too bad the recipints of your power know that you did it.

i wish i didnt have to wait a whole day for a enw sluggy comic :(

Enws everywhere take over the comic, eat bunbun, and hand Torg over to the DOP demons for all eternity.

I wish I could get ten hours of sleep in five hours.

Unfortuantely, you're the only person on that time frame. You sleep through half your life, lose your job, and so on.

I wish that I had a library in my house.

all the books have black pages which resist ink


i want to be omniscient

The local government will now doubt cut funding for the library and your house will collpase in on itself as the library falls into decay.

I wish moody teenagers would stop writing horrible poetry.

From now on, all the poetry written by moody teenagers will be merely mediocre.

I wish I was slightly less addicted to the sluggy forum.

you realize theres nothing else in your life so that its worth living

i still wanna be omniscient

Congratulations, You now know EVERYTHING, including all government secrets (including who actually shot JR, where the tax money REALY goes & why JB jnr got re-elected!), agents are now hunting you down as you now know too mutch!

I wish i had a personal teleporter.

Wizz.

it only transports you to sams (from sluggy) apartment.

but if im omniscient then i can avoid the agents.

To properly store and accumulate all the knowledge gained through omniscience, your neural cells begin dividing at a rapid rate, bypassing all of the cellular mechanisms suppressing oncogenesis. Massive tumors develop in your brain, and as a result of the restricted space in your skull, your brain tissue begins to necrotize. Convulsions lead to coma which inevitably leads to a slow and painful death. Any advantages conferred by omniscience is short-lived.

I wish that the next poster will completely understand every word I've just written.

In order for me to completely understand all that, it has to be physically possible. The physical laws of the universe change to facilitate this, and that horrible fate happens to millions of people around the world, including you. But at least I understand how it's happening!

I wish there was no pollution.