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 Post subject: The X-Mods!
 Post Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:19 pm 
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SOMEWHERE IN SLUGGITE CITY, TROUBLE WAS BEGINNING. . . .


SLUGGITE 1: If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people who don't use elipses correctly!

SLUGGITE 2: Those weren't periods, those were nanites! Pete clearly is foreshadowing another plot twist.

MODERATOR: Hey! Watch that speculation!

SLUGGITE 2: But this is Gen Chat! Not -- hey, who moved our posts?


YES, POSTS HAD BEEN SPLIT OFF WITHOUT WARNING AND MOVED TO OTHER FORUMS. ENTIRE THREADS WERE DISAPPEARING AND NOBODY KNEW WHO WAS BEHIND IT. THE MODERATORS HASTILY CONVENED A MEETING IN THEIR FORTRESS OF MODCHAT

MODERATOR 1: I can't believe that Cid is back. This has to be his work.

MODERATOR 2: No, I just checked our profiles and nobody has added a user rank system based on dogs. This isn't Cid.

MODERATOR 1: well then who is it, smarty pants? Kahzmick? Slap-Nuts? I still say that it's Cid.

MODERATOR 3: omg guys i am SOOOOO drunk right now! lol

MODERATOR 2: lolol i'm drunk too! :)

MODERATOR 1: We're ALL MUI drunk, okay? Can we get back to the business at hand?

MODERATOR 3: ill bet that your business is in your hand..... :-P

MODERATOR 2: HAHAHAHAHA I think we have a new title, people!

MODERATOR 4: Shut up you guys I just had an idea.. is it April Fools day again already?


BUT SADLY IT WAS NOVEMBER, NOT APRIL. 18,337 WORDS INTO NOVEMBER, TO BE EXACT. ACROSS THE BOARDS, POSTS ARE BEING DELETED, MOVED, AND CHANGED WITHOUT "Edited by" TAGS. CHAOS DESCENDS UPON SLUGGY.NET

SLUGGITE 1: Hey! what's this thoughtful political commentary doing in my Mornington Crescent game?

SLUGGITE 2: I'm sorry, but I do not understand what bearing "Dolis Hill" has on the issue of healthcare reform.

SLUGGITE 1: You got your POOP in my WGARS!

SLUGGITE 2: Oh yeah? Well, you got your WGARS in my POOP!!


WHAT DASTARDLY FIEND COULD BE BEHIND THESE TWO GREAT TASTES THAT TASTE GREAT TOGETHER?

MODERATOR 2: Okay, so short of getting even more drunk we don't have any idea how to deal with this thing?

MODERATOR 5: no

MODERATOR 3: nope

MODERATOR 4: No

MODERATOR 1: I got nothing

MODERATOR 2: Well...... then.. I guess that we all know what to do.

MODERATOR 5: Yeah, I'm afraid so. Just a second while I put the call out on my Facebook. May Pete have mercy on us all.


A MINUTE PASSES. . . . SOMEWHERE IN THE VAST, SPRAWLING REACHES OF FACEBOOK, AN UPDATE APPEARS

MODERATOR 5'S FACEBOOK: Gee, I wonder what the old Sluggy.net mods are up to these days?


SECONDS PASS, WHEN SUDDENLY--

Grace likes this comment
Azrael likes this comment
Caesar Salad likes this comment
Llefser likes this comment
Dirk likes this comment
David L. Watkins likes this comment
Chica likes this comment


WILL THE CURE BE WORSE THAN THE DISEASE? AND WHO IS THE DIABOLICAL VILLAIN BEHIND THESE BOARD SHENNANIGANS? TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT!


Hey! What about me and Jade? :P

Shh! Maybe we get to be the villains!

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 Post subject: Re: The X-Mods!
 Post Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 10:45 am 
Nifty Admin of Doom
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[oog: you are just f-ing awesome, g-man. But what is "thoughtful political commentary" doing in POOP!?]

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 Post subject: Re: The X-Mods!
 Post Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:49 pm 
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A RAINY FRIDAY AFTERNOON IN WGARS. A LONE SLUGGITE POSTS A NEW WRINKLE ON AN OLD GAME

SLUGGITE: For those of you who don't know the game, one player (the Dasher) picks a celebrity. The other players PM the dasher pics of boobs. The Dasher posts all the entries anonymously and in random order, together with the real boob pic.

Under my rules, players get points for each correct attribution (celebrity or player) and also points for identifying fake boobs.

The highest scoring player who has not yet been Dasher chooses the next boob.

JADE PHOENIX: Are you sure this game doesn't violate the Community Standards?

KULLERVO: Let's not be too hasty, Jade. How about starting a WGARS poll about whether it should be allowed?

SLUGGITES: omg its the x-mods!!

JADE PHOENIX: Stop thinking with your poll, dear, and help me boink this thread.

KULLERVO: You boink my poll, and I'll boink yours. :P


MEANWHILE........ IN INTRODUCTIONS....................

NEW SLUGGITE: hi there..... my name is p.o'd ...................... i love reading sluggy!!!!!!! especially with my hubby who i love VVERY much! i can hardly bear to ever let him out of my sight and i don't let him post online much but if your nice to me mabye ill make an acception................. i know you guys like hikoos but mostly i write long poems about my feelings and stuff so her goes..........................

AZRAEL: HALT! STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD AND IDENTIFY YOURSELF!!

DIRK: Hi, I'm Dirk!

AZRAEL: Not you, horse-ass.

SLUGGITE HUBBY: Totally whipped, PF

AZRAEL: No, not you either. I was talking to She Who Must Not Be Named.

GRACE: Wrong nuisance, dear. Check the IPs if you don't believe me.

AZRAEL: If that's how it's going to be around here then I may as well leave.

DIRK: Hi, I'm Dirk!


AND WITH THAT, AZRAEL VANISHED FROM THE BOARDS, TAKING ONLY THE TIME TO WARN DIRK AGAINST SPAMMING. MEANWHILE, CAESAR SALAD'S HEIGHTENED SENSES HAVE REVEALED A POTENTIAL THREAT....

CAESAR SALAD: Some dude over in Reactions is using my real name as his user name and it seriously is freaking me out. He's got to be the one behind all this!

DAVID L. WATKINS: Hugh Grant played Emma Thompson's love interest in Sense and Sensibility (1995) and her brother in Love Actually (2003). He also collaborated with her in the films Impromptu (1991) and The Remains of the Day (1993).

MRDRAGON: Calm down, CS. Have you asked the sluggite why he's using your name?

GRACE: Ooh, it's MrDragon! Have I ever told you that you have the sexiest accent?

CAESAR SALAD: Huh. You know, that never occurred to me.

GRACE: Well, it's true. Hubba-hubba!

CAESAR SALAD: No, not that! Wait a second--Grace, aren't you married?

CHICA: Let's just ban them all and let Wile E sort them out. More drinking time for us!


WILL THE X-MODS JUST BAN EVERYBODY AND GO HIT THE BARS? WHO IS USING CAESAR SALAD'S REAL NAME? AND WHICH FILM DID HUGH GRANT CLAIM TO BE THE WORST HE EVER MADE?

DAVID L. WATKINS: That would be Night Train to Venice (1993).

THE ANSWERS TO THESE AND MANY OTHER QUESTIONS MAY BE ANSWERED IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF . . . THE X-MODS!!


NOW WAIT JUST A DAMNED MINUTE--WHO POSTED MY JUICY HANDFULS OF DOOM IN THE BOOBERDASH THREAD?!?!

Is it too late to change my vote? --g

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 Post subject: Re: The X-Mods!
 Post Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:43 pm 
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Meanwhile, back in WGARS, another Calvinball game has been proclaimed.

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 Post subject: Re: The X-Mods!
 Post Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 2:10 pm 
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WITH THE COMING OF THE HOLIDAYS, ACTIVITY ON SLUGGY.NET HAS SLOWED. MANY SLUGGITES ARE ON HIATUS. LIFE ON THE BOARDS, SLUGGISH THOUGH IT IS, HAS MORE OR LESS RETURNED TO NORMAL. WHILE MANY ARE CONTENT IN THEIR WINTER LETHARGY, FOR THOSE FEW SLUGGITES STILL POSTING REGULARLY, ONE QUESTION REMAINS....

SLUGGITE 1: omg has anybody else seen Tron yet? It's totally amazing!

SLUGGITE 2: No spoilers! I'm seeing it tomorrow!

SLUGGITE 3: Is it worth it to see it in IMAX?


YES, SLUGGITES EVERYWHERE ARE DEMANDING TO KNOW WHEN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF "THE X-MODS!" WILL BE POSTED! PMS BLANKET THE IN-BOX OF A CERTAIN FORMER WGARS MODERATOR, ALL DEMANDING TO KNOW THE ANSWER....

PM #1: What the heck is a "PMS blanket?"

PM #2: You probably should have used an apostrophe. Be prepared to get questions and complaints from tons of confused sluggites.

PM #3: Don't listen to that other PM. Apostrophes are used for possessive nouns and contractions only -- never to denote a plural noun.

PM #4: Dammit Llef, I want my blanket back! You really don't want to make me angry right now. If that blanket is not in my possession by the time that "Four Weddings and a Funeral" starts, I will personally ensure that there are two funerals!!

PM # 5: Hugh Grant had to learn British Sign Language (BSL) for his role in that film.

PM #6: Does anybody else find it a little weird that people are commenting on PMs that they shouldn't even be able to read?

PM #7: Sorry that my booberdash entry is so late. Here are my votes: #1 is kitoba. #2 is mine. #3 is Philip Seymore Hoffman. #4 is weatherwax

PM #8: Oh, I get it now! The narrator meant to write "PMs BLANKET THE IN-BOX...."


TIME PASSES, YET THE X-MODS THREAD CONTINUES TO GO WITHOUT AN UPDATE. WITH EACH PASSING DAY, IT MOVES CLOSER AND CLOSER TO DROPPING OFF THE FRONT PAGE OF WGARS. CLEARLY, SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE. THE X-MODERATORS MEET OVER VARTINIS TO DISCUSS THEIR OPTIONS.

CAESAR SALAD: So anyway, it turned out that the guy using my name as his handle was innocent. He had made up the name for a character he played in an RPG and had no idea that it was an actual name.

JUGWINE: Wow, what are the odds of that? Too bad that you had Chica and Az break his legs first....

CHICA: Oh, I'm sure the guy did something else to deserve it. Everybody is guilty of something.

FEAR THE MULLET: Right now most of you guys are all guilty of sobriety! Let's pick up the pace, people! These twelve pitchers aren't going to drink themselves!

JADE PHOENIX: Hey, are we going to do something about that stupid thread Llef posted?

DAVID L. WATKINS: Not to worry, Jade. I'll have something up by Monday.


WILL DAVID L. WATKINS HAVE SOMETHING UP BY MONDAY? OR IS THIS THE END OF THE X-MODS!? TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE AMAZING ANSWERS TO THESE, AND OTHER EXCITING QUESTIONS!!

PM #9: Is it too late to change my boobervote from weatherwax to SaveTheGreyhounds?

WHERE'S MY DAMN BLANKET, YOU JERK? THE MOVIE'S STARTING!!


Last edited by Llefser on Tue Dec 28, 2010 2:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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 Post subject: Re: The X-Mods!
 Post Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 2:24 pm 
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[INTERLUDE]

In the super-secret mod forums, something stirs ...

"HEY! Keep it down in WGARS! We need to sleep off the Christmas hangover in time for the New Year's Eve drinking contest, y'know!"

"*hic*"

"Why don't I have a PMS blanket?"

"I think that's DLC."

"The one who's always talking about British romantic comedies?"

"*hic*"

[fade to black]

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 Post subject: Re: The X-Mods!
 Post Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2010 1:51 pm 
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In protest over the lack of posting in The X-Mods! thread, a small riot breaks out and quickly escalates into a full blown Battle For WGARS.

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 Post subject: Re: The X-Mods!
 Post Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:55 pm 
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Location: Probably drunk somewhere. Likely in Northern Virginia or somewhere nearby.
::GAWK!::

Hey? What happened here? The story was just getting... Oh there you are you little devil!

::Funky proceeds to jet over to the Calvinball, snagging it just before it disappears::

I SHALL actually score this time!

::GAWK!::

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 Post subject: Re: The X-Mods!
 Post Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:57 pm 
Moderator of DOOM!
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Don't you hate it when the Calvinball raises the dead? Stupid zombies....

*ka-click!*

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