Do you remember the writer's strike of 2007-2008? Well, I have this mental picture of a bunch of people sitting around, trying to fill in for the writers on shows like SNL or The Daily Show. It goes like this: I'll provide the first joke, and a topic for the next person to make a joke about. The next poster makes a joke on my topic, and then provides a topic for the next poster, and so on. I do ask, though, that you not just take the easy way out and use Google.

Without further ado: /game on

You know, what we really need is a joke abou the virility of bulls.

A couple, both born and raised in the city, decide to visit a cattle ranch. The old cowboy who owns the ranch is showing them around, and they arrive at a pasture with three bulls in it, each with their own fenced off portion. They walk up to the first bull, and the cowboy says,

Cowboy: Well, this is our bull Stormy. He successfully bred 52 times last year.
Wife: Once a week. Hmm. You could learn something from this one, dear!

Cowboy: Over here, this is Freddy. He successfully bred 104 times last year.
Wife: Twice a week. Impressive! (glances between husband and bull repeatedly)
Husband: grumble mumble

Cowboy: And this here is Marlboro. He bred 365 times last year.
Husband, before Wife has a chance to speak: I'll bet it wasn't the same cow every time, now was it?
*rimshot please!*

Hey, anybody got a joke about the warnings on cigarette packages?

More of a monologue.

So...Why do they even bother with the warnings on cigarette packs anyway? I mean really...Doesn't everyone know this already? Is there really a guy running around out there smoking who is gonna look at the pack and go..."Wow! These things are bad for you! Who knew?"? I can see it now. All the cool kids are smoking and little Jimmy wants to fit in. He swipes a pack of cigarettes from his dad...sneaks out back...goes to light up....Wait a minute! The surgeon general says these can cause cancer. No way I'm gonna do this. I might die! Those cool kids are idiots. I'd better go warn them. They probably haven't read the pack yet.


Next topic.
Marriage!

The husband is on his deathbed, his wife seated by his side, holding his hand.

Weak as he is, though, the man struggles to speak.

"Dear..."

"Don't try to speak." says his wife, patting his hand. "Just relax."

"But... I must tell you..."

"Don't worry, dear, it's alright."

"I must tell... I... I cheated on you..."

"Don't worry, dear. I know all about it. Why do you think I poisoned you?"

--------------

Hmmm... perhaps a bit macabre. Nonetheless. The next topic is: Chickens.

After buying a parrot, a man starts to regret his purchase upon finding that it enjoys insulting him and swearing. After bearing several days of foul curses and crude derision of him and especially of his mother, the man can't take any more. He grabs the bird and throws it into the freezer. The bird emits a hurricane of profanity, then there is silence. The man begins to worry that he may have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer. The parrot steps meekly out onto the man's finger and says, "I apologize profusely for my previous behavior. I promise you that from this point on, my speech will always be clean and respectful." Before the man can recover from his surprise, the bird adds, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

Okay, let's have the next poster pull out his or her best joke about nerds.

Just remember, high school jocks and cool people: Don't make fun of the nerds. You'll be flipping burgers for one in a few years.

But what about the high school jocks, while we're on the subject?