Yay, SSJJared! That was great! And I rule all the voices used were characterful enough that they all count as true references. So, your get 10 points for a full length song, 5 for using someone else's topic and another 7 for characters used, giving you the new high total of 22, with a potential of 27 if no one uses your topic. Well done!

*sound of jaw hitting floor*

Killer Teen (a parody of Killer Queen)

She keeps actions and overrides
In her pretty cranium
’Nosce te ipsum’ she says
Who knows what she’ll become?
A built-in memory
That survives each catastrophe
At anytime an invitation
Torg can’t decline

Flying kicks and shiny knives
Well versed in homicide
Extraordinary device

[Chorus]
She’s a Killer Teen
Guaranteed to make a scene
Dynamite with a laser beam
Oh, why did Steve mess with her mind?
So unkind!

Kidnapped Torg to the Poconos
To marry him as she chose
Did she die?

To avoid complications
Torg never gave her his address
But Hereticorp
Told her where Zoë was instead
Oasis went to kill her
For Torg it was a chiller
Though he didn’t love her,
He proposed to save the one he did

Hereticorp and Cloney made a mess
So Riff broke out Oasis
Override B-1 would suffice

[Chorus]

Drop of a hat she’s as giggly and
Playful as a teenage girl
Then momentarily irritated
Temporarily all awhirl
And absolutely out of her mind
She's out to get you

[Chorus]
Does she die?
Oh, did she die?

Okay--full-length song, 10 points; topic used--5; 6 characters used = 21 points! (Queen is so great for these things, so easy to filk!)

New topic--Zoe's college friends want to survive the night of the KITTENS.

It's close to mid day, and something Evil's lurking in the tree
Under the bright sun, you see something mewing plaintively
You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze, as horror bats its yarn across your eyes
You're paralyzed!

[Chorus]
Cause its a Kitten! Kitten strike!
And no one's gonna save you from the cat about to strike!
Cause its a Kitten! Kitten strike!
You're running for your life inside a silly thriller tonight!

You hear the posts scratched, and realize that the cabin's coming down
You feel Dex's cold arm, and wonder if you ever see your home
You close your eyes, hopin' Pete has run out of imagination
But all the while, you hear the kittens mewling from behind!
You're out of time!

[Chorus]
Cause its a Kitten! Kitten night!
Ain't no chance against a dozen Satanic cats!
You know it's Kitten! Kitten night!
Bun Bun quit the gig of this silly thriller tonight!

[Bridge]
Legless wounded crawl
And the cats start to stalk in this Masquerade
Ain't no escaping the paws of the kitten this time
This is the last frame of your life!

They're out to get you, the kittens closing in from every side
Max tried to kick one, and now he's just a red spray in the sky
Now is the time for Dex and Zoe to cuddle close together
Too bad he can't hug her too tightly after the bit with the door
His arm's on the floor!

[Chorus]
Bit off by Kitten! Kitten night!
Where did Flaky go and what was that symbol on her head?
Was it a Kitten! Kitten sign?
Will she make it out to return in a silly sequel some night?

[Cue Bun Bun]
Darkness falls across the land
The feeding hour's close at hand
Kittens paw in search of milk
And terrorize the lactose intolerant
Wait, that doesn't rhyme, I'm outta here

[Cue Torg - Cue echo machine]
Er, um... And whoever shall be found
Hittin' on Zoe behind my, er, getting down
Must stand and face the cats of Hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell
The foulest plot is in the air
The funk of bowling shoes un-aired
And cuddly kittens from momma's womb
Are closing in to seal your doom!
And though we spritz to stay alive
The ice cream starts a melting
For not even a commando team can withstand
The Evil of, er, The Evil


Next up, my favorite story. Sing me a tale of the Stormbringer.

Waffle, that was a great parody of Thriller! I laughed out loud at some points.

By my count, KITTEN receives a 22 for a full-length song, a topic used and no less than seven clear character references.

OK, by writing this one, i think i may be forever proving my madness, but what the hey. It'll help with this one if youve seen Little shop of Horrors.

Oh, and although it goes against average assumptions, in this version, we pronounce the demons name, with each letter seperate, so that its three, syllables, okay?

Mean Green Kizke (Mean green mother)

K'Z'K: Ya better wait a minute,
Better hold that book,
Better mind your manners,
don't give me that look!

Don't you threaten me, Torg,
you got a lot of nerve,
Cause this world is MY world,
All that i deserve!

You dont know what you're messing with,
you got no idea,
you dont know who youre talking to,
when you talk to me!
You don't know who you're fighting with,
no, no way, no how,
You don't know who you're up against,
but im gonna tell you now!"

(Dead Sighard: Ahhhhhhhh
Osric: ahhhhhhhhh
other deadels; AHHHHHHH
all: AHHHHH!)

Get it straight,
im just an evil demon, named K'z'k, and im bad!
Im just an evil demon named K'Z'K
and now you've made me mad!
I'm just an evil demon named K'Z'K,
so prepare to die, and say it straight!
Cause im K, Z, K. and i am BAD!

Wanna save your life, Zoe?
You want a place to hide?
You wanna leave this cave now?
Well, now your hope has died.

Better wait and die now,
That's all my advice.
Just hand over that book,
or I'll have to kill you TWICE!

You don't know who you tried to beat,
no you never did.
You don't know just how tough i am,
but thems the breaks there, kid.
This demon don't sleep tonight,
And now i've won this little game!
You say Kizke here, you say Kiske there,
You know what i say? "NOT MY NAME!"
(repeat of backups)

Watch out now,
I'm just an evil demon, name's K'Z'K, and im bad!
I'm just a soul collecter, a real disgrace,
and now i'm fighting mad!
I'm just an evil demon, I've won this race,
I'm gonna tear you up,
Wreckin' time and space
Cause i'm K Z K!
And i am....BAD!

Don't you talk to me about ol' Bun bun,
You think he's the worst? well, he's been outdone,
Don't talk to me about the D.O.P,
Masters of pain? Ha! Just wait and see....

You know , i came to here because of Gwynn,
Summoned with the book, and now watch me win,
You can keep Vampires, keep Aylee,
keep that sword, Torg, won't work on me!

I got my undead hordes, strength without compare
clwas and fangs, so better beware!
You better give it up, try to flee,
You better hand over that book to me!

Now its time,
Im just an evil demon, name's K'Z'K, and im Bad
Im just an evil demon, now without delay,
I'll take that book you had,
Im just an evil demon, I'll have my way,
So drop the Gud, and you should just pray,
Cause im K'Z'K
(deadels: Evil demon, he's won this day)
I'm K'z'K!
(Deadels: Evil demon, it's time you pay)
I'm K'Z'K!
And I
AM
BAD!
(end of song)

DONT KILL ME, IM JUST CRAZY! ^_^. Ok, for the next topic, why not try Hereticorp? just hereticorp in general, doesnt matter what, but THEY have to sing it.

That was really good, SSJJAred! Very funny. But why do I now see K'Z'K hopping around in a really big terra cotta pot?

Okay-- the scoring: 10 for full-length, 5 for topic used. As for character mentions: there are 6 definites; I am undecided about Chaz, though. Torg's sword is mentioned, but not as a character in that context. Does anyone else have an opinion on that?

For now, you get 21 points; if others think the sword reference counts, I will bump it to 22.


Oh! Just wanted to remind everyone--if you just spent hours working up a song on a topic, only to be ninja'd by someone else, by all means, go ahead and post it. You won't get the 5 bonus points, but you can still earn the other ones!

Tough call. On the one hand, for the Stormbringer story Chaz is not a character. At that point, it was merely a prop. On the other hand, its a clear reference to an important bit of the Sluggyverse.

In the end, given the context, I'd rule it a prop, rather than a character. And no, this isn't because I then beat him by one point. Well, mostly not.

Imagine, if you will, the dazzling light of sequins dancing on an impossible curve...


Alright y'all, y'ready for some fun? Whooo-hoo!

Tumble out of lab and stumble to the breakroom
Pour some water from a talkin' AI
Dodge and duck and try to stay alive

Dodgin' security the blood starts pumpin'
In the boardroom the crazies are plottin'
Scientists like me in the lab from nine to five

Workin' Hereticorp! What a way to make a livin'

Barly patenting, Its all takin' and no givin'
You can use your mind
And they give you lots of money
It's enough to drive you crazy if you aren't already

Hereticorp!
Loyalty and devotion
Talking water coolers are always in motion
Want to move ahead
But giant robots won't seem to let me
I swear some deranged
Experiment's out to stab me!

They let you dream just to watch them shatter
Nothin's working and Killum's getting all the madder
But you've got inventions he'll never take away

In a burnin' building with lots of your friends
Some guy with a laser cannon just came in
And the chick's gonna turn
And send a pencil your way

Workin' Hereticorp, what a way to make a livin'
Workin' Hereticorp, what a way to make a livin'
Workin' Hereticorp, what a way to make a livin'

Hereticorp, they've got you where they want you

There's a better life
And you dream about it don't you?
It's Mr Chen's game
No matter what they call it
And you spend your life putting weapons in his pockets!

Workin' Hereticorp, what a way to make a livin'
Workin' Hereticorp, what a way to make a livin'
Workin' Hereticorp, what a way to make a livin'

Hereticorp, they've got you where they want you
Hereticorp, they've got you where they want you
Hereticorp, they've got you where they want you
Hereticorp, they've got you where they want you

Fade

Wild applause

----------

Alright, damn it. I admit it! I do! I've been to Dollywood! I rode the Iron Butterfly. I watched the glassblowers. I even went through the museum! Happy? But it was a date, you hear me! A date! And it was worth it! It was. And I'd do it all again! Ahahahahahaha....


Next up. I don't care what story you use, but I want my American Pie...

Okay! Hereticorp, a parody of 9 to 5, earns a clear 19 points--10 for full length, 5 for topic used, and four character points: Killum and Chen are mentioned by name, and clear references are made to Riff and Oasis.

As for topic, I had originally considered allowing posters to suggeste a song to filk, rather than a theme, so I will let waffle's challenge stand for the usual 5 points to whoever uses it.

Ok so I know this isn't very good. but what do you want?

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How the Alt used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my choice
That I could make the people voice
And, maybe, We’d have Zoë for a while.

But Horribus made me shiver
With every comic Pete delivered.
Bad news on the web page;
The result on Torg I can’t gage.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his orphaned soul,
But something happened deep below
The day alt-Zoë died.

So Farewell, alt-Zoë dies in Hell.
Drove Torg to the edge,
But the edge was black.
And them demons boys were howling to try n’ get Torg back
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that you die.
"this’ll be the day that you die."

Did you read the book at all,
And do you have faith in Gwynn above,
If Ra’ther Nice tells you so?
Do you believe in redemption, So
Chaz can save your mortal soul,
And can you make those spiders eyes not glow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with her
`cause I saw your note while you were
Distracting the Robot Assassin foe.
Now if you could just tell Zoë prime so.

You were a lonely freelance Torgo guy
With wilted flowers and a roving eye,
But You never could cry
The day alt-Zoë died.

I started singin’,
Farewell, alt-Zoë dies in Hell.
Drove Torg to the edge,
But the edge was black.
And them demons boys were howling to try n’ get Torg back
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that you die.
"this’ll be the day that you die."

Now for weeks you’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When neon paisley buddies came,
With a Bun-bun that wasn’t quite the same
And a voice that said look and see,

Oh, Horribus was looking round,
While bits of masonry he found.
The corner fell and squished her flat;
Her space is now compact.
And while Chaz recharged from her blood,
The decisions made came in a flood,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day alt-Zoë died.

We were singing,
Farewell, alt-Zoë dies in Hell.
Drove Torg to the edge,
But the edge was black.
And them demons boys were howling to try n’ get Torg back
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that you die.
"this’ll be the day that you die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The papers filled the air,
And Europe claimed to care.

Now the DOL air was sweet perfume
While the demons said, bring Torg soon.
and in Canada Psyk,
had the bear, not unlike
the mess he made, when the field
had daisies and the wyrm refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day alt-Zoë died?

We started singing,
Farewell, alt-Zoë dies in Hell.
Drove Torg to the edge,
But the edge was black.
And them demons boys were howling to try n’ get Torg back
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that you die.
"this’ll be the day that you die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: Chaz be nimble, Chaz be quick!
Chaz come kill the candlestick
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan’s spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day alt-Zoë died

He was singing,
Farewell, alt-Zoë dies in Hell.
Drove Torg to the edge,
But the edge was black.
And them demons boys were howling to try n’ get Torg back
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that you die.
"this’ll be the day that you die."

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d seen the book years before,
But Gwynn said the book wouldn’t help.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three characters I admire most:
The Torg, Chaz, and Bun-Bun,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day alt-Zoë died.

And they were singing,
Farewell, alt-Zoë dies in Hell.
Drove Torg to the edge,
But the edge was black.
And them demons boys were howling to try n’ get Torg back
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that you die.
"this’ll be the day that you die."

They were singing,
Farewell, alt-Zoë dies in Hell.
Drove Torg to the edge,
But the edge was black.
And them demons boys were howling to try n’ get Torg back
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that you die.
"this’ll be the day that you die."


Now if you would be so good as to filk me a song about Torgs Black Heart. Thank you.

Whew! American Pie is certainly ambitious, but the rewards are ample. Arial racks up an impressive 25 points for Alt-Zoe Dies: 10 for full length (I almost feel like I ought to award more for a song that long!), 5 for topic used, and no less than 10 clearly-defined character mentions. (In this one, Chaz most certainly counts as a character.) So she now holds title for most points for one song.

*applause*

Okay, I had this half-finished when waffle posted his Hereti-Corp song, so I decided to put it up anyhoo.

H-C Company (a parody of Bad Company)

Company, by Hereti it was formed
Daedalus now runs the Board
Helped by Killum; Kirko makes the clones
And Marcus Chen looks for Oasis’ home

So we’ll always be

A bad company
You must apply
To our bad company
Work for us and/or die
Work for us and/or die
Work for us and/or die

Oh, we plot in the murky gloom
Hey, no lights in the Evil Room!
Now these fronts, Heap-O-Lingerie
And Ayleeorg-net, keep the snoops away

I can hear them say

We’re a bad company
What’s your reply
To our bad company
Work for us and/or die
Work for us and/or die

SOLO

Bad, bad company
Oh, I know why
We’re a bad company
For money sky-high
And I say we’re
A bad company! Oh yeah, yeah
A bad company
We can’t deny! Oh yeah

You tell me you’re a freelancer?
Oh, but of corset!
A bad company
It’s the way we play
Dangerous Days
Oh, somebody double-crossed me
Double-cross
Double-cross

Yeah
We’re a bad company
Unleash the baby ducks!

I get 10 points for a full version and 6 for character mentions (Riff is sort of in there, but I don't think it's clear enough to count). That's 16 points to me.

I also get to post a topic: I choose Kesandru House! Now y'all have got two to choose from!

This is a song that I posted in the last RS thread, I don't expect any points, I just wanted to share.

Riffington and Torg
Walkin’ through the forest
Laughin’ back and forth at what the
Other’ne has to say
Reminiscin’ this ‘n that ‘n havin’
Such a good time
Oo-de-lally, hoo-de-lally, golly
What a day!

Never ever thinkin’ there was
Danger with the milk
They were drinkin’, they just
Guzzled it down
Never dreamin’ that a schemin’
Saten and his kittens
Was a watchin’ them and
Gatherin’ around

Riffington and Torg
Runnin’ through the forest
Jumpin’ fences, hackin’ kittens
And throwin’ a hand grenade
Contemplatin’ nothin’ but escape
And fin’ly makin’ it
Oo-de-lally, hoo-de-lally, golly
What a day!
Oo-de-lally, hoo-de-lally, golly
What a day!