I have a "potty mouth". I swear with regularity, and with gusto, switching from the lower class of words (damn, hell, bitch) to the hard stuff depending on the situation. There are very few incidences where I check my mouth from swearing at all; at work around certain people (not my supervisor, BTW), around certain grandparents, and when I am part of a group that involves lots of small children because I watched a friend of mine get bitched OUT by a mother in a pumpkin patch for using the s-word in front of her darling. So, no swearing around children, not for their sensibilities but for mine. The only word I don't use is the c-word, but only because I think it's an awfully awkward word. Really Anglo-Saxon and blunt, when the p-word is so much nicer to say.

Anyway. Recently, a friend of mine has decided to hop on the "no swearing" wagon. She watched some thing with a kid advocating the end of swearing, and she was moved to stop swearing. The thing is, she was never a real cursing queen. She said bitch from time to time, and she perhaps talked about her damn paper, but I can't think of a time when an f-bomb left her lips. So, she's giving up something she has little to do with.

So what's the problem? The lady has become %*$@ing INSUFFERABLE when around the friends who swear regularly, including me. Everything from shame talk to mocking us if we say something like "f-ing awful".

"Really? You REALLY needed an f-bomb right there?"

She's treating us like swearing is some sort of drug, some powerful substance that we need to kick. I never really thought about my swearing before, simply doing a mental check on my mouth in certain situations that ALWAYS need a mental check (don't swear around customers, don't swear around kids, don't swear around this and that grandparent...). But this is @*%$ing nuts, and it's making me more and more protective of my right to use whatever damn word I want to express myself. I mean, she's going out with US, in a GROUP and she expects us all not to swear because she's there. Her decision to not swear means no one can swear.

Am I being unreasonable to be seriously irked?

IMHO, her decision to not swear is just that. HER decision. You don't get to make decisions for your friends as well as yourself. I have a bit of a potty mouth myself, but there are certain people who I don't swear around as a matter of respect, parents for example. The only person I have EVER told off for swearing around me is my younger brother, but that's because he insists on using the F-bomb around our parents, especially our mother, and I find it horribly disrespectful to the people who raised us. Even if I make a conscious decision not to swear, I'm not gonna tell the people around me what they can and can't do. So yes. Be irked. We are adults and as such are allowed to make *gasp* ADULT DECISIONS about what words come out of our mouths.

Personally, I don't swear. It's just kind of part of who I am. I don't like swearing, and I don't think it's necessary nearly as often as other people do it. (And if I meet someone who does so regularly, I will more than likely try to avoid that person. That door leading out of the room is there for a reason, and I have no desire to stand around and get offended. I'm kind of non-confrontational. I'll also tend to back out as quickly as possible if someone starts smoking, but that's because I think it stinks.)

Having said that, I do think your friend may be taking things a touch too far. I think she's probably having more trouble with not swearing than I would have - for me it's habit, and no doubt she's needing to check her mouth everywhere. (Just because she never swore much doesn't mean she never swore - and it's hard to change a habit). This is probably making her particularly sensitive to any reminder of the fact that she needs to keep censoring her own mouth; and often when someone feels sensitive about something they take it out (irrationally) on the person who inadvertently prodded the sensitive spot.

She is, in other words, doing the same as someone who's recently taken up a vegetarian diet does when everyone else starts eating chops. It's irritating, it makes everyone else self-conscious, and people end up avoiding her at mealtimes. Only in this case, the habit she's trying to kick is one that's not limited to mealtimes at all.

They say there's no zealot like a recent convert...

I don't mind swearing much. There's a tiny handful I don't touch, but most of them are actually counter-intuitive, society-wise. I was raised on the 10 Commandments (and please don't turn this into a religious debate, this is about my and only my preferences), so I'm far more willing to drop an F-bomb than a D-bomb. Taken literally, copulation (even unpleasant copulation) seems preferable to eternal damnation, so while I might say "F- it" pretty flippantly, you will almost never hear me say "G-D- it." And if you do, I mean serious business.

Have you considered swapping the obscenities for blasphemies? Some years ago, a good friend of mine made that change to good effect. Of course, it helps that he tends to move in secular circles. A fundraiser for Focus on the Family, for example, may not be able to facilitate this change.

Actually, Lles, besides the F-word, which enjoy for its versatility, blasphemes are my next most used swears. Jesus, Christ, Jesus H. Christ (sometimes onna stick), Goddamn, Holy God and/or Christ, Christ Almighty, (Holy) Mother of God, etc. etc. and always. I blame my former Catholicism and a very mouthy set of parents for most of these. To be honest, I don't use the s-word much (unless it's about bull*#%&), and the FCC approved swears (damn, bitch, hell) are 2/3 blasphemy anyway. So, essentially, I'm a blasphemous swearer with some F'n thrown in.

And all of it is awful to my friend's ears.

You know, though this doesn't compare in terms of severity, being a smoker I do know exactly what you're talking about. Don't walk into a smoky bar and then complain when the people around you are smoking. If you don't want to smoke, more power to you. If you don't want to breathe smoke, there's plenty of other places you can go. If I chose to slowly kill myself, that's my decision, and you complaining about it doesn't make me want to smoke any less (in fact usually the opposite is true).

Back on topic, I use a fair amount of casual profanity myself. There are of course times when you curb it in, but when it's a group of adults it really shouldn't be an issue. They're just words. Heck, if the Normans hadn't conquered England they wouldn't even be considered profane.

What about the times when a large crowd of you decide the courtyard outside my office (through which I have no choice but to walk when I leave work) is the right place to smoke (despite signs to the contrary)?

Very few people bitch about smokers smoking in smokey places. We bitch about you smoking all over the place, in our faces, in our public spaces, keeping us from even going by them on our way somewhere else.

If they're smoking where they shouldn't be then they're douchebags. I specifically try to avoid non-smokers when I'm in public places. Just because I have a filthy habit doesn't mean I need to be rude about it.

Reminder: this is not a thread about smoking; let's stay on topic in weatherwax's thread.

Being on topic is <bleeping> boring, and not how conversations work. <bleep>.

(Swearing is on topic, right? )

Well, Dirk isn't here to split threads every two seconds anymore, so you'll just have to use your willpower.

I think this tangent remains responsive.

The original topic regarded people being self-righteous about their lack of bad habits in the face of people who have those bad habits.

FB is just channeling the woman weatherwax was complaining about.

Hi, I'm @#$!ing Dirk!

*ahem* Was that a, ah, modifier or a verb, Llefser?