* Looks out the gunport, eyes corporate lawyer shark *

Arr!

* Grabs lawyer shark by a Gucci dorsal fin and hauls it out of the water *

Arr, didn't yer employer tell ye we be a government funded institution? Ye can't be buying us out with a corporate takeover, ye daft fisheses!

Now, did ye settle on fees for attackin' an unassailable government institution with yer employer, or did ye just take a percentage of the action?

I thought so. Ye might want to take this up with yer employer. After all, have ye seen the price o'regular gasoline? Them thar hummers have a mighty thirst.

* Drops corporate lawyer shark back into the great text sea. Watches with sataisfaction as it swims towards The Alchemy with murder in its eye.

Arr! Powder monkey, fetch me some grog!

Excellent job waffle, thank you. Your quick thinkings saved us twice already.

*levels an icy glare over at the fool who wished to burn the books.*

HORRID MAN! But you forget...I am a librarian and I have acess to all the other librarians in the world! With a few simple clicks of a button, I can find every overdue book you've ever had, and if you don't pay the fines...

*ominous smile*

Oh yes, and I almost forgot.

*shoots at Crake with the silencer*

Hard to give commands with a leaden tongue now isn't it boy?

~Captain Rin the Silent

MOOP!

* Bows *

Thank'ee, milady. 'twas simply a matter of explainin' the fish to his own best interests.

Now if ye be no mindin' a wee bit of a suggestion, nothin' sucks the magic outta somethin' like knowing how it works, in excruciatin' detail. With that in mind, did ye know we're carrying a full magazine of encyclopedia, technical references and the complete source to Linux?

I took the liberty of loadin' the port cabinets with some of this material, includin' the complete works o' Penn and Teller. Say the word 'n' we be launchin' the single most anti-magical broadside ye ever laid yer sweet eyes upon.

* Bows *

Absolutely brilliant! I do belive a promotion is in order, Waffle, you are now officially the first mate of this fine ship!

Now, lets go take a look in those books and see what we can learn...

~Captain Rin the Silent

MOOP!

"A Chimera, EH?"

As the hideous beast streaks towards the S&P, Streamers of Red Tape whip out of the building, Siezing it in place.

"Before allowing this attack attempt to continue, We'll need copies of your Parents Interdimensional, interspecial breeding permits, Filed retroactively, and notarized! Your pre-emptory assualt without performing these actions shall result in a slight Karmic withdrawl made against you, and a larger one assessed against your employers, their families, and their ancestors."

"Have a nice Day!"

Crake unable to speak watches in horror as the corporate sharks speed towards the Alchemy. Unable to speak would disable some magicians but not ones who never took a geas. Casting a simple redirect spell he sends the linux reference books heading for the treacherous corporate sharks. Satisfied at their defeat he takes out a peice of paper and writes on it. he hands it to an earth elemental and gives it a written command. The message reads...

Dear, Crew of the Grand Library of MOOP, please accept my appologies. I had no intention of burning any books you found important. All I would have wanted to do is take any magical reference books to give to my mages and use your unwantd books as cannon fodder. also please note that the earth elemental I am sending over to deliver this message will be a great form spirit so you wont kill it as easily. Have fun while we cast a few illusion spells to render all the books unreadable.

Repeating the previous proscess Crake sends another letter to the HRB's
Standards & Practices. This letter reads...

Dear crew of ship, the chimera attacking your ship is a creature created by genetic alchemy. That being said it requires no interspecial breeding permits because it has no parents. Also note that chimera is legalized by the multiple magicians as long as the creature is not sentient. Ha, you thought a technicality could stop me?

Then Crake and the resident healing mage attempt to disspell the barrier of silence.

Thank'ee, milady, I will do my best t'serve ye well. As for the books, they do make fine readin', but I had somethin' else in mind. He wants magic books, he gets magic books

FIRE!!

BOOM!!

The port cabinets belch fire and text, sending a hot broadside of Penn and Teller's secrets of magic, encyclopedia entries on Harry Houdini's escape technique and several discussions of the history and mythology of magic and a college level dissertation on chemistry of alchemy into the side of the Alchemy. In this mass of text are the secrets to magic, how it works, how to do it, everything.

And, of course, knowing the secret, the tricks are no longer magical.

Written commands? You are proving to be quite the formidible opponent Crake.

*scrawls out a response*



*with a quick bit o' magic (I am a sorceress after all) I convince the earth elemental that it got it's directions mixed up, and the ship it wants to mess with, is, in fact, that one**points to The Alchemy*

~Captain Rin

MOOP!

Huh, you have magic eh? Well I can stop that elemental thinks Crake. Using the cojurer spirit bond Crake, binds the elemental to one final task, serving as a fetcher(and depositor of them in the hermetic library) for all those magical books you threw over. As for your comment Waffle on the nature of knowing magic's secrets makes it less magical you are sadly incorrect. You see mages are a very secretive bunch and the stuff they write in their books is very hard to understand. So even if you can read it you most likely will be totaly confused about it.

Ha, our spell is complete! All your books have been magically altered so that every page appears blank! All these words have been relayed through watcher spirits somuned to tell them the crew of the Grand Library of MOOP.

Suddenly Crake recives an e-mail on his computer. It reads...



"Crappicus!" shouts Crake as his crew is released from his control, and his ship begins to head back to sillicon vally. he snatches up a white flag and prepares to go to the library.

My undead services (for the sake of continuation, I'm going to stay a ghost) are availible to anyone willing to pay the right price, enough to make it worth my while to leave my keg.

froggy, watching the distant battle through his telescope, sees the Alchemy disengage and sail off.

"What?! It's leaving? The fight had just started! Oh well, so much for that."

He picks up his staple gun and fires a few well-aimed shots at his enemy's captain. One hits the captain's ear, causing him to yell out in pain something that sounds like "fire," causing his gunners to fire. However, they were all still moving the cannons into place, so they accidentally shoot through the walls of their building, causing lots of damage to themselves and none to the Limited.

It's been decided that these things would be better off in FRPG. So that where this is going!

*WHOOSH*

Floating over to the Grand Library of MOOP, waving a white flag Crake prepares his surrender speech. He decides not to mention that the reason he is switching sides is because he lost his funding, so instead he tells the crew that he will share with them all the info his watcher spirits have managed to gather in return for letting him stay on their ship.

OOG: Real quick...Crake still can't talk, last time I checked.

IG: Hmmm, a white flag eh? Well, while I belive you deserve nothing more then to be thrown to the sea, we may be able to work out some sort of deal. See, there are all these books, and while I CAN reverse the spell, it would take me a couple of days and I wouldn't exactly come out of it fresh as a daffodil.

So...I'll give you clemency, AND reverse the effects of the silenter if you'll reverse your little spell. And I'll even pay your overdue fees for you.

How about it?

*reaches out hand to shake*

~Captain Rin

MOOP!

*Waits for the signal to reduce the fines for Crake, watching him suspiciously.* Milady- I don't know that I trust him. How can we prove that he won't go turncoat on us when he gets the secrets? *slides her kick-step across the boat to look over at the silent captain of the Alchemy, and then back at her own*

Not that I'm underminin' ya. It's your decision. Snap your fingers, and I'll be down to get the magic book in a flash, along with photocopies 'o doom.