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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 9:17 am 
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With a whoop and a yell at Sorceress' command to fight, Moueska jumped up, tossing her book away. Thinking about where she was in the book, she wished that she hadn't... but tried her best not to imagine the scenarios to come as she scurried down the halls, looking for the magic books. A slide into the first row and...

"The book of Yarr Notaz Noice..." Moueska grinned, picking it out from the shelves. It had been teasing her, glowing now and then. Nothing so violently wild... but strange things have happened since. Glancing to one side, then to the other, she felt the magic stir inside as she touched the spine.

Unable to leave it for the books on either side, she grabbed it, carrying it at her hip to the upper levels of the Library. Grabbing her pencil-darts from the stockroom, she reached the roof. Facing Crossroads' ship, she lay the book on the concrete ledge, closer to her than the edge.

The incanting began.

Yarr Notaz Noice wrote:
梣¥¤Ω∑˝π≥◊≤


A red-green-blue glow shimmered over ther pencil darts. She she threw them, they sailed true.

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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 10:16 am 
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nO-one bothered to wonder why Crake decided to unleash a full asullt on Crossroads with binary programing guides di they? Well think about it what could be more boring than learning how to use binary to code the most minute thing possible? Soon the employees of CRCC will be too bored to do any work and the profit margin will drasticly fall!!

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 Post Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 10:06 pm 
Moist Happy of DOOM!
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Location: Crossroads Central Control (aka Phoenix Az)
The Captain of the T&T Dimensional Holdings Firm was quietly sipping a hot cup of tea. The head Flunky enjoying the relative peace and quiet. All of this however rudely interrupted as several old Binary Program codes slame into the 8th and 10th story windows of the office building.

“Great Galaxy Guns! What was that! Minions report?’ the Captain shouted into a speech tube as alarms broke out aboard the ship of the line office complex.

“Captain! It appears a giant floating Library and several small accounting firms have appeared on the Horizon! Gun ports ablaze!” shouted a nervous Employee.

“What? Where did they come from? We were the ones on the hunt, and might add the ones with a cloaking device!?” The Flunky Captain barked as the Employee replied meekly “Er, it would appear so Sir, however things were slow, so plot dictated our forces engaged in combat!”

“Well! If it is a fight they want, it is a fight they shall get! We’ll show them why were CCC’s Office of the line!” The captain barks as windows are opened, Pneumatic mailing tubes are tilted down as they are pointed outside. Meanwhile another volley of programming fire goes off, shattering more of the Office buildings windows.

“What ARE they shooting at us anyways?” the captain shouted as he picked up some thick programming books… “Binary Coding? How utterly Devious! Bah! A good thing there Lord High CEO never upgraded to computers!” he says with a haughty laugh.

“Now, FIRE A BROADSIDE!!! We’ll make sure they nerve get close to the CCC Tower!” He shouts as a volley of Heavy Mail tubes are blasted from the office building, the Tubes erupting with 1920 versions of ‘Spam’ mailings!

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 Post Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 10:14 pm 
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Oh good God, that is just pure evil! What could you spam us with from a time before aphrodisiacs were commonly sold, or mortgage rates, and porn where allowed? This will not stand!

"Mattew get me all the fantasy pulp fiction books you can find! We shall fire at them the utter repetativeness and Tolkien impersonations that make up pulp fantasy fiction! They shall not have any rest! After that get me any high shool textbooks written in the 1950s. The sheer ammount of corporate and government propaganda shall drive them mad!"

About five minutes later Crake and Matthew have set up the same full auto tracking systems on two other cannons so that CRCC tower is pelted with old high school text books and boring pulp fiction.

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 Post Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 12:16 pm 
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Location: aboard the Fool's Folly
"Boarding parties are ready, Cap'n Sorceress!" Coming up out of the hold, Thom Solo salutes his lady captain. "Athos! Porthos! Aramis! Take your men to the left! Cyrano, D'artagnan, and Roberts, you'll have the right face! John, Tars Tarkas, you're with me!" Some of the most skilled warriors of fiction take their posts, ready to board when they see the signal.

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 Post Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 1:18 pm 
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Location: Awaiting the Waffle Signal
Down on the gun deck, the filing cabinets are loaded and ready. Waffle stalks among them. "Hold yer fire lads, let'em get nice and close." A pneumatic tube round smashes through the side of the building and into a file cabinet. The two explode in a shower of meaningless interoffice chatter. Its crew is sprawling on the deck, wailing in the agony of pointless memoranda.

"Stand by yer guns! Hold, damn yer eyes, or ye'll have me t'deal with. Hold!"

A large section of wall gives way, blasting chunks of masonry and copies of the Christmas party dress code across the deck.

"Ready lads! Let'em have it."

"Fire!"

The filing cabinets all go off at near point blank range. The entire library seems to lurch several feet to the side as the entire 1983 United States Federal Tax Code is sent smashing into the side of the T&T Dimensional Holdings Firm.

"Reload mates!" Text monkeys scramble around the filing cabinets, shoving the 1987 edition Unabridged New York Building Code into the smoking drawers.

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 Post Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 2:19 pm 
Moist Happy of DOOM!
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Location: Crossroads Central Control (aka Phoenix Az)
The Flunky Captain of the proud T&T Dimensional Holdings Firm. Watches with obvious smugness as large chunks of masonry are slowly blasted away from the ‘Library of MOOP’ His well trained crew firing in mechanical precision, as volley upon volley of old mailings, ancient ‘SEARS’ catalogs and vast tomes of bogus medicinal cures.

Suddenly he watches as the whole upper and lower decks of the floating Library light up as the building lists to one side.

“BRACE YOURSEL—“ He shouts, yet before the words are finished the 20story ArtDeco Office building lurches horribly in the other direction of the blast. A massive explosion of stone and brick goes up from the T&T Dimensional Holdings Firm. A vast cloud of suite hangs in the air as the battle is gripped in an eerie silence…

As the dust begins to clear, it is reviled the whole 12th and 13th stories gaping open as crafted masonry and stonework crumble down to the ground bellow… The Captain looks up from his Office, bits of the wall cracked as he looks down at his feet…

“What’s this? The United States Federal Tax Code? UNABRIDGE??? Those FIENDS!” he bellows, slamming the tome down. In a second he leaps down into the ruined portion of the building, men rolling on the floor in agony “Up! UP Men! Stand firm! You shant let Death take ye so soon!!! ((Besides, They’re Employees, they can’t be killed)) “Back to your posts, grab what you can and report to the upper floors, the rest of you brace these levels! Don’t let them board!” he shouts, grabbing people up from the floor as the rattle of sharpened rulers, spiked protractors and lethal Slide-Rulers are pulled from the weapons locker.

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 Post Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 2:58 pm 
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Location: Awaiting the Waffle Signal
Gunnerry Master Waffle strides behind the row of file cabinets. "Look lively there! Clear that breech!" Hours upon hours of gunnery practice under the Master pay off, as the cabinets are reloaded and run out in record time. Waffle holds his cabinets firm. "On the roll of the building, aim for the lower floors!"

The library rolls slowly on the text sea, showing the gaping hole where the 12th and 13th floors were, then further up the building to a bustle of activity. Then the library rolls down again. Lower and lower, until the lobby level, with its power distribution hub, comes into view.

"Fire!"

BOOM!

The library lurches to the side again as the 1987 Unabridged New York Building Code is sent crashing into the lobby and first floors of the T&T Dimensional Holdings Firm.

"Mate!" Yells Waffle, over the ringing in the gunners' ears.

"Sir?!"

"Bring up the entire Aubry-Muartan series. GUNNERS! RELOAD! Swab out them cabinets!"

The text monkeys scramble into the bowels of the library, bringing up one of the heaviest and longest 18th century sea faring series ever.

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 3:44 pm 
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Location: aboard the Fool's Folly
"They're breached! Grappling lines at the ready... away!" Hooked cables hurtle through the air between the Grand Library of MOOP and the T&T Dimensional Holdings Firm. Some fall away, or bounce off, but many of them catch on. "Take them! Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!"

The fictional boarders, sustained by the fierce imagination of avid readers everywhere, swing across the gulf between the two buildings. Swords clash with yardsticks and knives strike hard against letter openers as the melee is quickly joined.

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 4:04 pm 
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As Matthew sits on Crake's shoulder they watch in awe of the devestaion wrought by the Mighty Waffle and the gunners. Matthew pecks Crakes neck and says,
"So what should we do now?"
"I dunno :riff: ."
"No really, what now?"
"I suppose we could bring some randomness to that building ourselves. Want to fly over, become majority stockholders and then sell all the stock to corporate sharks?"
"Okay."

With that the two fly off to bring a business to it's knees in the only way it will ever accept defeat, through loss of funding.

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:37 am 
Moist Happy of DOOM!
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Location: Crossroads Central Control (aka Phoenix Az)
Oh dang it! I leave for a few days for Christmas and Everyone gangs up on me! ((dashes off to write a worthy post... of DOOM!!!))

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 4:36 pm 
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Ha! Very good all of you, especially when it comes to which books are and aren't good for using as ammo. *hordes all the good fantisies*

And the fictional warriors! Well done my good mate Thom!

Come on now! We've almost got them!!

~Captain Rin

MOOP!

Knowladge IS power!!

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 Post Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 2:35 pm 
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After sneaking into Crossroads central control by bribing a guard with a Tolkien collectors edition,featuring every one of his literary works, they took from the Grand Library of MOOP, Crake and Matthew are inside. While in there they seem oblivious to all the chaos and confusion. They go to the lowest basement and look around for a the master switch. As soon as they find it Matthew turns on a flashlight and Crake pulls down all the switches cutting of power to every electronic device in the building.

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 12:08 am 
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The corporate mercernary flies up in her small ship, realizing that she is a bit late for the battle. She calls to the Sorceress.

"Hail, Lady! I am a hunter from a distant land, and I would assist you in your battle with the CCC! If you would accept me, my paperweight gun is at your command!"

As she waits for a reply, she notices that the entire CCC building has suddenly gone dark.

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 9:55 pm 
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Alright, this thread can almost officially be declared DEAD DEAD DEAD!!

So, if nothing happens (SOON!) , I declare the thread over, and myself, and all my allies the winners.

Nyah.

~Sorceress

MOOP!

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