Hey! Been reading since about 2003 when I got a pretty severe flu and, while staying home to get better, took up a friend's suggestion to read the Sluggy archives all in one go. Been an avid reader since then, although it took me a bit to become a defender. Quite glad Pete still finds time to create for us, and have recently found myself wanting to post to some of the forum threads. :)

Anyway, there's been an incident and I can't find my emergency pants. Has anyone seen them?

Welcome to the forum adamroach!

Yeah doing the whole archive in back in 2003 wouldn't of been too bad. Now...not so much.

Your Emergency Pants? They appear to be stapled to the ceiling. Not sure why you would do that.

Anyway [member's name here], now I will tell you about the strange tradition aimed at newcomers.

At one time there were Pesterers who pestered you for poetry, but that tends to be very rare nowadays. Even though you may not be pestered, if you do go and post an original poem --usually haiku but any (clean) type is accepted-- written by you, you will most likely receive a gift in return. The "gift" will most likely be useless or maim you. Whichever it may be, it should be interesting and surprising. Lastly, this strange tradition applies to the pestering not the poetry. You are not required to do anything more to be a member here...unless you want to possibly get a [name of harmlessly fatal item here] or some other type of gift.

Now go forth and do (almost) whatever you want, just don't speculate in Reactions.

What!!! That's ridiculous! That's no good in the event of an emergency!! I demand poetry on the proper maintenance and storage of emergency pants.

It's for your own safety.

*Opens the Closet*

*Reaches in*

There ya go!

*Throws Emergency Pants*

POOF!
*Returns to Relative Obscurity*