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 Post Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:16 pm 
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Location: The Gates of Hell, Planet Char, Koprulu Sector
Galaxy Hunter wakes up slowly, glancing all around and trying to remember how he got in this situation.

Ok GH, you're in a featureless white plane of existence with no other signs of life in sight, what the heck did you do last night?

An image of him huddling in a desert, wearing digital-patterned power armor and clutching a large sniper rifle, swims to the forefront of his mind.

No, that's not it.

Another image, this one of him dancing in that club orbiting Alpha Centauri. He's in a crowd of strange and fantastic aliens. And Zoidberg.

Closer.

He remembers drinking.

That can't be it.

He remembers drinking Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters.

That can't be all that happened.

He remembers smashing his forehead into the bar repeatedly to impress an Asari.

That must be it.

He remembers the beer glass holding his thirtieth Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster sprouting legs and arms, reaching over and drinking him, and then smashing itself into the bar to impress three Asari.

Wait, what the hell?

Suddenly, his surroundings change. Gone is the featureless white nothing. In its place is an outdoor stadium, illuminated by the moonlight, and, much more prominently, dozens of halogen spotlights. He looks up and down the grassy field and notices something. Sitting in the middle of the field is an all-too-familiar ball, daring to look innocent after everything that's happened to those it influences.

GH stares for half a second before uttering a single sentence under his breath. "Aw crap."

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 Post Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:28 am 
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As the halogen lights wash over the CalvinBall it becomes semi translucent. I small humanoid figure can be seen inside.

Steave finds himself in a featureless white plane of existence with no other signs of life in sight. He reaches out to find the whiteness is right in front of him ... and behind him ... In fact all around him. It feels leathery to touch and strangely familiar ... Oh crap.

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 Post Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 11:30 pm 
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// error detected //

** hidden space incorrectly hidden **
** improper folding of space/time **
** [unknown device] reality integration failure **

// search for hidden space in detected grid location //

** sneaky overlay initiated **
** calibrating **
** approximate time is (3) terran hours
** search started **

== hidden space is hidden ==

// change parameters //

// search for normal spaces in detected grid location //

** regular overlay initiated **
** recalibrating **
** approximate time is (1) terran month
** search started **

== normal space is normal ==
== (1) pinprick anomaly detected ==

// info known about anomaly //

** initiated by damaged [unknown device] **
** unstable reality mesh **
** hidden space improperly folded upon itself **
** low-grade dimensional jump tunnel to interior **
** tunnel is partially stable **

// stabilize anomaly //
// upgrade and lock down tunnel //

** grithlouw exciter package launched **
** piggybacked preth injector to package **
** located anomaly **
** initiating correction **
** malformed folds refolded **
** stabilizing **
** reinforcing tunnel **

== stabilized ==
== reinforcement successful ==

// scan interior for [unknown device] //

** device detected **
** device scanned **
** device fits (1) profile in database **

== device is c.a.l.v.i.n. ball ==

// alert status required //

== uploading to fore of primary awareness sorters ==

...

Steave is sudden awoken from what feels like a never ending dream as the floor of the orb is shaking. It has a familiar cadence that he can't quite place as the shaking increases as well as a noise can be heard that is also increasing in volume in time to the shaking.

Still a bit groggy, he strains to hear anything. Suddenly part of the whiteness is blotted out as it feels like the ball is rapidly rising. Once that stops, the floor starts to shift every which way.

After a few moment of being flung around the interior, Steave, can hear some snippets of a muffled voice from outside.

"... how did ... get ... there steave ... don't worry ... think ... ... get you ... of ... hold on ... something."

Steave is violently thrown sideways as he tries to sort through what he heard. But before he can even assimilate this new predicament, a loud *pop* is heard and he slams into Galaxy Hunter. They both topple over the back of GH's chair.

Still holding the knife he whipped out to deflect the calvinball, G. Hunter is just as surprised as Steave. Though he doesn't show it since he is hyper-aware after his suit "flash woke" him from stasis after detecting the projectile flying at him.

Both look back to where the ball originated from. Zillatain just waves as sier then turns to look at the calvinball flying around the field of its own accord. After awhile it seems to make up its mind and starts to readily smack in to what appears to be a large camping tent set up on the field about 600 meters away. Someone stumbles out and animatedly throws curses at the ball.

The ball flies away.

Zillatain walks/trots over to Steave and GH as they are untangling themselves.

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 Post Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 2:33 am 
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"I've sorgot thu 'ven self 'plicatin' 'notech can't handle tha sor 'f p'n'shment"

*passes out*

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 Post Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 11:02 pm 
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Stopping net to the tangled mass that is Steave and Galaxy Hunter, Zillatain says,"Well Steave, that was an entrance, but the dismount was a tad of a let down. Now Hunter, that was impressive knife work when you..." Zillatain halts as sier sees that nobody is listening.

Moving Steave's unconscious form off of Galaxy Hunter, Zillatain scans him and discovers the problem. Reaching into one of the untold number pockets on sier's clothing, sier pulls out a small dermal syringe. Sier injects Steave. "There you go Steave, it's the same nanotech you have, but at a larger dose, and with no modifications...just improvements.

Steave's eyes snap open. He is somewhat disorientated, but he did catch Zillatain say 'just improvements'. Steave is a little concerned. "Zill, who or what were you talking about a moment ago?"

"Oh good, you're awake. Um, at the time I would say I was listening to myself speak. It's nothing of importance."

Crap. I'm screwed
. Steave thinks.

Zillatain looks closer at Galaxy Hunter. "From what I can tell, you are still in stasis, and the suit did all the work at deflecting the ball. Actually I can't tell if you're in stasis or dead. I can't scan through the suit. Well...I can, but your tissues would be flash boiled. Though I would know what state you were in right before that." Sier kicks him to see if that helps... Okay it's actually to flip him up so he lands with enough force to embed his feet in the ground so he looks like a squatting statue of liberty.

The person over near the tent is now wearing sunglasses and trying to use a flamethrower to hit the Calvinball that returned. Only thing on fire is the tent.

Steave

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 Post Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 11:48 pm 
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Hmm I've never known Zill to sign off by saying 'Steave' before. Maybe there was some information bleed when he revived me. I'd better check with myselves. "foreign nanotech coding detected. Diagnosis: potential harm to the legion. Quarantine of limb recommended.


We are so sorry."

Wait. What? Quarantine?

Hello? Hello? Anyone?

Are you there? I'm alone? Alone.

So cold.

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 Post Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 1:39 am 
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Zillatain was musing about the Steave plan failing so quickly. Dammit, the infiltrator activated way too soon. The Steaving shroud was not fully constructed. No mental overlay filtering to the legion at all. And this Steave is probably now useless for access... Wait, maybe not. I'll have to act fast.

Suddenly Zillatain's precision hands move in a blur as an item is constructed. 1.67 seconds later the device is loaded into a small dermal syringe and Steave is injected with it.

Steave's brutal excision from the legion is overpowering his will to live. He has never felt this alone before. As he is falling deeper and deeper into this deadly depression, abruptly all of that becomes very blurry and tastes like teal. When that starts to clear, the legion is enthusiastically welcoming him back.

This is wondrous.

One which was lost and thought to be no more has been able to reattach its thread.

Bittersweet it is though.

Great sadness to have just recently severed the thread of a compromised one.

Threat unknown.

Knowing there is a threat is all that is required to protect legion.

Sadness is still offset by the elation.

Legion is the all, and the one.


Steave is happy, but his unique identifier in the legion feels...like it doesn't fit correctly. As if it isn't his. That's nonsense though. Probably because I'm so cold... Ah... Why am I cold? I shouldn't be this cold. I can barely feel my toes. Opening his eyes he sees Zillatain.

"Steave, I know your nanotech was having a problem repairing the damage, but why are you standing waist deep in the ice chest? I know it has one of your favorite ethanol beers in it... Still, this is odd even for you."

Stepping out of the ice chest he spots Galaxy Hunter doing the impression of a baldly made statue. "What's GH doing?"

"Oh, he's doing his Schrodinger impression."

Steave is not sure if that answers the question or not.

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 Post Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 1:55 am 
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Wait. What? Of course that answers the question. GH is in an uncertain quantum state. Why would I have thought it was odd. I'll just sit down with my favourite ethanol beer and ponder this.

I don't like ethanol beer?! Something is very wrong! I don't want to be alone but I think it best if I severe connection with the legion again while I sort this out.

Man that hurts!

Alone again ... Alone? What's that then? Some consciousness I'm still linked to. It's so small but it's there. If I concentrate and focus I can zoom in to it.I

What is that! It's familiar but. Wait! Is that the universe?! It's so small!

How is my consciousness linked to the universe. No. Not the universe. Some entity that is looking at the universe. The whole universe. It really is small though. Hang on a second.

Zill?

OOG-Do you remember when Calvinball almost resembled the version played inside the comics?

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 Post Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 9:05 am 
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Location: The Gates of Hell, Planet Char, Koprulu Sector
Slowly I open my eyes. I can see Zillatain and Steave talking and I...

I appear to be trapped in my suit's emergency quantum stasis field, designed to shift unconscious soldiers slightly out of this plane of existence. On the plus side, it prevents any significant harm from coming to them, on the negative, they can't interact with anyone at all. With a sigh I click the 'off' switch and straighten up shakily. 'That's odd, I distinctly remember collapsing. Who propped me up?'

"Hey guys, good to see ya." I glance over at where the Calvinball lies amid the flaming wreckage of the tent. Obviously someone tried to destroy it, were it so easy.

I notice Steave has begun ranting and raving. Something about... not liking beer anymore!? Zillatain, what have you done!?

"Zill, what did you do to Steave?"

The entity glances over at me.

"Ah, GH, it's good to see you really aren't dead. I guess that answers Shrodinger's question." He gestures over at Steave, who is muttering and pacing back and forth. "As for him, I merely opened his eyes."

I sigh, reach up and remove my helmet. I've been through a lot in the past few months. My face is criss-crossed with ropy scars, and half of my face, including one eye, has been replaced with visible cybernetics.

"Well, whatever. It's still good to see you again Zill. How's crimes?"

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 Post Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 8:26 pm 
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A twinkle in the heavens turns into a meteor which displaces a patch of the field in between the players. Once it has cooled the word 'Steave' can be read on the side. Steave however continues to pace and mutter without having noticed. GH retrieves the capsule and is about to bring its attention to Steave but curiosity wins out.

Though the locks are complicated it only takes thirteen hours to open the capsule. It pops open with a small rush of compressed air. Inside is a single piece of paper with a simple message: Massive contamination. Protocol Convergent Evolution initiated. We're on our own now. Everyone is on their own.

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 Post Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 3:20 pm 
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Everyone is on their own? What's new about that? This IS Calvinball, after all. Wait a minute.........did someone say......Calvinball? Oh.crap. Parannoyed runs off screaming.

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 Post Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 9:45 pm 
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'Ah that message was for me. And yes, I am alone ... mostly' Steave pointedly avoids looking at Zill 'Still there may be a few tricks left over' he passes the beer to Zill and grabs the capsule from GH. With a quick flick of his hand he sends the capsule flying straight at the Calvinball. The capsule clicks shut around the Calvinball and then disappears.

An evil light appears in Steave's eyes and a manic grin spreads across his face.
'Let's play ball.'

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 Post Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:32 am 
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Stunned at Steave grabbing the capsule from his hands, GH starts to protest, when a loud alarm begins blaring in his ear.

"Alert, quantum field destabilizing, prepare for imminent plane-shift."

"Oh craaaaaaaaappppppppp......" GH's voice grows steadily distant as his form becomes transparent and vanishes from the playing field.

Steave, with the evil glint lingering in his eye far longer than is healthy, and Zillatain stare with bemusement at the spot where GH used to be. After a few seconds a portal reappears and spits GH back out. He collapses on the ground; his armor is gone, and he is clad in what appears to be a simple tunic. Parannoyed, who has run around in a massive circle, screaming as he realizes that you can't escape from calvinball, stops to help. (Against his better judgement)

"No!" GH swats his hand away, and with a flash of purple electricity, parannoyed is flung halfway down the field. "Something's wrong..." GH groans clutching his stomach. "Something they did, in that place, I can't-"

He screams in agony as his body is wreathed in purple and dark lightning, and he changes. His skin color turns a dark blue, and his hair snow white. His eyes turn an inky black as his fingernails elongate into dark claws. With an animalistic grunt, he jumps to his feet, small arcs of dark electricity flaring from himself to the ground, and takes off running on all fours towards where the calvinball vanished, newly-fanged teeth bared.

[oog]I've been playing a lot of Jak 3: Wastelander recently, if you're wondering[/oog]

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 Post Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 1:28 pm 
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The Calvinball falls into a pan-dimensional cheese research facility, and bounces off and away, leaving an imprint.

The imprint happens to be key-value list of sluggy.net usernames paired to games.
Among them are "AlternateTorg -> Mornington Crescent" and "Inspiration -> Strip Jello Twister by Mail".

Peculiar.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 3:36 pm 
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*licks a stamp*

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