Forum    Search    FAQ

Board index » Chat Forums » Word Games and Random Silliness




Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 66 posts ] 
 
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Incoming!!!
 Post Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 3:05 am 
User avatar
Offline
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:57 pm
Posts: 4102
Location: Currently on expedition.
Steave gestures down at GH. "Let's give the boy a lift."

Balthazar stares at his navigator for a moment, before focusing back on driving. "What? No. We can't stop here. This is bat country."

Top 
   
 Post subject: Re: Incoming!!!
 Post Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 7:53 pm 
User avatar
Offline
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 1:10 am
Posts: 1498
Location: The Gates of Hell, Planet Char, Koprulu Sector
GH has a pounding in his head. He barely has the strength to groan and look up after he impacted the ground at several times the speed of sound. He sees FH standing there in a ready stance, and although he can barely think or move from the extensive brain damage he'd suffered he knew that this whole scenario was bad news.

GH slowly moves his right arm to tap a control on his left wrist. FH moves to stop him, but GH finishes a sequence etched into his memory and vanishes as the emergency teleporters whisk him away to his command cruiser orbiting Alpha Centauri.

***

Android X-02 and his comrades, androids X-03 and Bob, were minding their own business tending the master's flagship when suddenly warning klaxons went off all throughout the ship: incoming medical teleport!

"Quick!" X-02 shouts to his companions. "We must go and help! It can only be the master!"

"Really? No duh, genius." Bob replies.

"Yessir Immediately sir!" was all X-03 could say, his sycophant modulator is faulty and has overridden the rest of his personality modules. And his reasoning cortex.

They find GH's slumped body in the teleport room and move him haphazardly to the medical wing, bashing him up even more. X-02, the smartest android of the group, pauses for a few minutes to raise the triple-layered anti-transport shields around the ship and then shifts their vessel to a different dimensional plane. Their master would be safe while they operated on him.

He walks into medical to find GH sprawled out on the table, heavily sedated, his head freshly stitched, and his brain in a jar next to the table.

"What. Are. You. Doing!?" X-02 shouts.

"Sir, replacing his brain sir!" X-03 replies, now dressed in surgical slacks.

"You idiot!" X-02 screams. "He didn't need a brain transplant! We could just repair the damage and re-install his memories from backups and- Wait. Where did you get the other brain from?"

"Sir, the only other available brain we had in storage was Kennedy's sir!"

"Oh-no." X-02 mutters.

Seconds later GH's body, complete with the re-built mind of a late US President leaps off of the table and runs out the door. He is bellowing something that sounds like: "I choose to do this not because it is easy but because it is hard!"

X-02 sighs. Why does this always happen to me? Then he speaks in a voice of forced patience.

"X-03, do me a favor. And please, I know you're malfunctioning, so listen close. Go to the master control unit, wake up one of the master's clone bodies and put his brain into it. The magical healing fluid should've fixed it up by now and he'll get all his memories back. And then I want you to throw yourself out the airlock. Understand?"

"Sir yessir!" X-03 turns and walks out of the room.

"Wait a second." X-02 mutters to himself. "Where's Bob?"

"On the bridge moron." Comes the sarcastic voice of Bob from a loudspeaker in the spartan medical bay. "That lunatic of a master is here too, he's taken manual control of the ship!"

"Stop him!" X-02 bellows.

"I can't idiot, we can't directly harm the master's body or mind, what a pity..."

"Hang on boys!" comes the voice of GH's body over the loudspeaker. "I'm going to try a crazy Ivan!"

"Oh nononono-" X-02 squeaks out before the ship starts to go into a tailspin, throwing random junk against the walls. The inertial compensators are offline.

"Excuse me sir?" comes X-03's voice from a nearby doorway.

"What now!?" X-02 bellows, dodging random debris and trying to stay on two feet.

"Er, sir, your orders were to wake up all the clones and put the master control unit in charge of them. Right?"

"You didn't."

Behind X-03 dozens of GH bodies file into the doorway each sporting a blank expression.

As one they chant. "We are all, we are many, we are one."

Well crap. X-02 thinks moments before he is knocked off his feet by GH's brain in a jar.

End of Line.

Top 
   
 Post subject: Re: Incoming!!!
 Post Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:14 am 
User avatar
Offline
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:50 pm
Posts: 2465
Website: http://www.youtube.com/user/FunkyHonkyCDXX
AOL: da drumber
Location: Probably drunk somewhere. Likely in Northern Virginia or somewhere nearby.
Well that didn't quite go as planned...

::GAWK::

::GAWK::

Well that sucked. Where're we going Steave?

::balthazar finds himself sitting on the edge of a crater::

Top 
   
 Post subject: Re: Incoming!!!
 Post Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 1:56 am 
Gatekeeper of Niftiness
User avatar
Offline
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 2:54 am
Posts: 5115
Location: Australia
"I just gave you the coordinates. Oh hi Funky"

Steave looks over and notices that Funky's chair has fused with the driver's seat. Where they have fused seems to be bubbling and growing.

"Oh Hel. Abort"

*initiating backup. backup unable due to proximity. continue abort?*

Steave glances upwards.

"Yes!"

Steave's head explodes sending his eyes flying in different directions while his body melts into leaden sludge.

Top 
   
 Post subject: Re: Incoming!!!
 Post Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:02 am 
User avatar
Offline
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:50 pm
Posts: 2465
Website: http://www.youtube.com/user/FunkyHonkyCDXX
AOL: da drumber
Location: Probably drunk somewhere. Likely in Northern Virginia or somewhere nearby.
Huh... I guess this car is mine now. Let's see what we can do with it.

::The melding between the chair and car is completed. Before the eyes of anyone who may happen to be watching the whole mass begins to change shape. Finally it turns into a... horse drawn wagon?::

Time to go back in time and make a profit!
Like the retconn?

Top 
   
 Post subject: Re: Incoming!!!
 Post Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:53 pm 
Gatekeeper of Niftiness
User avatar
Offline
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 2:54 am
Posts: 5115
Location: Australia
One of the Steave's eyes drifts close to the moon. As if under the command of some unseen signal two silver bullets streak from the surface. One heads directly to the eye and, after engulfing it, drops silently back to the surface. The other streaks off into space.

Top 
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 66 posts ] 

Board index » Chat Forums » Word Games and Random Silliness


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

 
 

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to: