You might show a little more respect for one of Sluggy.net's resident SCILF's.

You lost me on that one, g --and the only citation I found for that acronym isn't even slightly reprintable on a respectable forum like this one.
----------------------

Anyway, here are your entries --I don't envy you trying to find the originals out of these, crew. Although they're all hilarious!

1. The other problem I had was that I was falling in love with my best friend, Gretchen, who I thought the rest of the world considered fat.

2. Mr. Acorn didn't believe in destiny. Certainly not on a morning like this.

3. I don't blame my father for beating me. I don't blame him for tearing the book I was reading from my hands, and I don't blame him for locking me in the basement.

I did blame him when I was a child, of course. Back when he was still alive.

4. That's how it is, son," said Reginald as they made a slow loop. "Your birthday is always the one that is not now."

5. The frog's name was Cassandra, and she was highly respected all over the pond for her ability to tell the future.

6. It all started with a bright light, and then we were picked up out of the box.

7. When I was four, I decided I needed a tattoo. I used a Sharpie. It was supposed to be a lion. I drew it on my wiener.

Standing stark-naked in the kitchen smelling Lemon Joy while my mom scrubbed me raw with a dish sponge, I vowed--I couldn't put it into words at the time, but it was a deep-down stone-cold promise--that this was the last time I'd ever, ever try to be cool.

8. The bulge in Brian's pants heralded Amy's entrance into his sixth hour study hall.

9. "Angst, angst, angst," my father said, pacing around my bedroom, "That's all you ever do! Sure, I was Baby Boomer, hippie-dippie, free love, 'up yours, man', but I was never this angsty."

10. The Tramp was big and squarely built, and he walked with the rolling stride of the long road, his steps too big for the little streets of the little town.

The SC refers to Stan Cold, although it might also have referred to Stephen Colbert.

"Stan Cold Is Llefser's Friend"?

Now, the important question; to dartboard this round, or not to dartboard this round?

Oh God, I just understood that. You're too kind.

Don't forget to turn in your guesses. I have everyone else's.

HotD
1. The other problem I had was that I was falling in love with my best friend, Gretchen, who I thought the rest of the world considered fat.

Insp
2. Mr. Acorn didn't believe in destiny. Certainly not on a morning like this.

CCC
3. I don't blame my father for beating me. I don't blame him for tearing the book I was reading from my hands, and I don't blame him for locking me in the basement.

I did blame him when I was a child, of course. Back when he was still alive.

Llef
4. "That's how it is, son," said Reginald as they made a slow loop. "Your birthday is always the one that is not now."

CCC
5. The frog's name was Cassandra, and she was highly respected all over the pond for her ability to tell the future.

SC
6. It all started with a bright light, and then we were picked up out of the box.

insp
7. When I was four, I decided I needed a tattoo. I used a Sharpie. It was supposed to be a lion. I drew it on my wiener.

Standing stark-naked in the kitchen smelling Lemon Joy while my mom scrubbed me raw with a dish sponge, I vowed--I couldn't put it into words at the time, but it was a deep-down stone-cold promise--that this was the last time I'd ever, ever try to be cool.

LL
8.The bulge in Brian's pants heralded Amy's entrance into his sixth hour study hall.

SC
9. "Angst, angst, angst," my father said, pacing around my bedroom, "That's all you ever do! Sure, I was Baby Boomer, hippie-dippie, free love, 'up yours, man', but I was never this angsty."

TMahC
10. The Tramp was big and squarely built, and he walked with the rolling stride of the long road, his steps too big for the little streets of the little town.

No one correctly identified HotD, which I believe gives me 3 points and is a first for the game. Nearly everyone got TMaHC. Everyone fooled at least one person with one of their entries.

Round Scores:

+4 Llefser: 2 points for Mouse, 1 point for fooling SC + 1 point for identifying half the entries correctly.
+5 Insp: 2 points for Moues, 2 points for snagging both LL and CCC with her HoTD entry + 1 point for identifying half the entries.
+3 CCC: 2 points for Mouse, 1 points for fooling SC
+1 SC: 1 points for fooling Insp.

TOTALS
inspiration 16
Llefser 15
Stan Cold 9
CCC 8
kitoba 8

Next dasher, Stan Cold

This game is really producing some gems. I love both of these openings, especially Stan Cold's.

kitoba earned those three points by picking an opening that:

• was not particularly good; and
• could plausibly have been written by one of us.

Well played, sir!

The full beginning --I only gave the first sentence --is pretty strong, and also quite distinctive. But I did have some sneaky tactics I used (other than just chopping it off at a strategic point). First, I made sure everything in that first sentence was included in my description, so it would sound like someone had just written it off the clues. And second, I put it first, because no one ever puts the real one first.

I recommend the book to anyone who is roughly my age (mid thirties) not necessarily because it's a fantastic book, but because I think it does a stellar job at conjuring up a vivid picture of what it was like to be in high school in the late-80's/early 90's. I didn't identify with the main character or his adventures all that strongly, but everything about how the author described the place and time brought back memories.

Thanks for some great entries, by the way. I second insp's endorsement of SC's beginning --I was surprised he didn't fool anyone else --and insp's own entry goes on the list along with her one for the book set in India as better and more compelling than the real one itself. And LLef, I think you get the award for two beginnings that could easily have been from the books themselves.

I also hope some of you are inspired to read TMoHC --it's one of the great classics of children's lit, IMHO.

Let me check my shelf!

"Lamb" - Christopher Moore. This book tells the story of Jesus (then called Joshua) through the eyes of his best childhood friend, Biff. In the year of the present, Biff is revived to write one more gospel. While trying to escape his imprisonment in a hotel room with the rather unintelligent archangel Raziel, he writes the story of how he met the Messiah, the journey they take to learn how to save mankind, Josh's crucifixion and all the misadventures in between. Quite a hilarious book, would recommend it to anyone.

"Odd Thomas" - Dean Koontz. Odd Thomas is a short-order cook in the small town of Pico Mundo, California. His parents didn't really have a reason to name him Odd, it just happened. But there is something peculiar about him: he can see the ghosts of the dead. They don't talk to him, but still try to communicate with him. And yes, Elvis constantly hangs around town, though Odd has no idea why. A stranger comes to town, followed by hyena-like shadow figures. He must now race against time to stop the deaths of many and to kick this gathering evil out of town. Another highly recommended book.

One of my entries was the first sentence of a short story I wrote in high school.



I plan on reading several of the books that have been used in this game.

I recognised TMaHC as soon as I saw the sentence; I'm sure I've read that book before, a long time ago.

For the rest, I really need to find a good dartboard. My instincts are just not working out.

I need an entry from the Llef... man? Woman? Asexually reproducing organism?

Last time I checked, Llefser was male.










What? Why is everyone looking at me like that?