While I try not to stereotype I have noticed something when dining out. It seems that African-Americans are extremely picky about food and or food service while in restaurants. This is just observation and not any sort of scientific study, but what I have noticed is that more often than not if someone is complaining about a server, the food, or whatever else more often than not the person comlaining is black. Also most of the time this is also in standard chain restaurants Olive Garden, Chili's, Red Lobster. It doesn't seem to happen as much in more fine dining restaurants or in local diners and/or fast food places.

Has anyone else noticed such a thing or is it possible that I have noticed it enough that now I am specifically looking for that behavior? And if I am correct and this is happening is there an explanation why?

Now don't get me wrong. I understand the desire for good service and I have also made complaints when warranted (even got one waiter fired on the spot, which I felt bad about, but really he had it coming.) But there a lot of times that the complaints I have witnessed were about things that I would consider extremely trivial. Now obviously that comes from personal preference so that could just be me being mostly content and not really caring about trivial items.

(On a side note, my best friend's parents are freaking brutal on waitstaff when it comes to dining out. So much so that I will not dine out with them because they nit pick every little thing and then even after every little thing is done perfectly for them they barely tip, which grates on me quite a bit.)

I did notice this while working in a restaurant. Our patrons were mostly white, upper-middle class and they rarely complained to such a degree, but when we had black people on Sundays they would nitpick every little thing we did if it wasn't absolutely perfect. It's the reason I couldn't work Sunday morning shifts. I just couldn't take the over-the-top criticism and rather than lose my job for getting fed up, I asked to not be scheduled for Sundays.

Another thing I noticed and I still see it when I'm out, upper-middle class families and higher tend to have the most obnoxious kids and leave the biggest mess at the table with no remorse and very little tip. Lower-middle to lower class are very good about keeping things clean and will generally tip as much as they can spare. They're easy to work with and do what they can to help the server.

That's just what I've noticed from experience, though. I can't say the trend carries to other parts of the country or that it's entirely true. It's just what I see.

Part of it may be that when you see a black person being hard on a waiter you make a racial generalization out of it in a way that you don't when you see a white person being hard on a waiter --in other words, you're more likely to view black people as a group and white people (your best friend's parents?) as individuals.

As a black person myself, I know both black individuals --such as my wife's sister --who are very picky with waitstaff and black individuals --such as my wife --who are a dream to wait on.

So let's rephrase this. Are a disproportionate number of the individuals who are hard on waiters black, and if so, why?

Two theories:

A) New money: Black people who eat at middle-class restaurants are more likely to be first generation middle-class and haven't internalized noblesse oblige yet.

B) Compensatory: Black Americans, in general, are often very forceful and direct about our wants and needs --it's a reaction to years of second-class citizenship (a condition not as firmly in the past as people like to believe).

As far as giggles' observation about wealthier people being stingier with tips --that's a well-established fact. The dominant theory is that wealthier people are less likely to emphasize with the waiter and imagine themselves in the waiter's place.

Huh. I've never noticed this before in the seven years I waited tables. To be honest, my very worst customers were either visibly wealthy (to me, anyway -- upper middle class, more likely) or visibly religious -- that is, talking about church, dressed in church clothes if Sunday, praying before the meal. This was regardless of race.

Chick tract tips?

My mom has told me nightmarish stories of the time she spent working at Pizza Hut when she was a teenager. Apparently the worst customers she got back then were high school football players. They never tipped, left horrendous messes, and chased away all the other customers. She managed to chase them away by sneaking chili pepper seeds into the pizza and soda that was given to the football coach, who was by far the worst offender of the entire group.

God, yes. Urgh. Nothing better than being told I'm going to hell in lieu of rent money.

Ok. As an Australian, I don't know nor have met many African Americans. Those that I found obnoxious were very religious and when I was reading the initial post, it was these type of people in my mind's eye.

Is that a euphemism for psychic powers? If not you should probably see a doctor.

I personally tip extremely well and am likely to ignore service issues if I consider them trivial. When I do have complaints I tend to complain in a polite tone of voice. I regard anyone who browbeats waitstaff or counter help, even when given poor service, as a rude person and not worthy of any respect. The fact that your steak is not cooked to your taste does not give you the right to yell, cuss, or otherwise harass your waiter/waitress. Having said this though,



I think kit's theory has merit here. A direct and forceful complaint may be seen by someone like myself as unreasonable rudeness, while in someone else's viewpoint it is just direct and forceful, not rude. I can and will be direct and forceful in my complaints and have been a complete nightmare in response to poor service, but only as a last resort and/or with clear provocation. I always try the nice way first.

I also think kitoba is on the right track. In general, what people consider acceptable behaviors are based on their experiences or lack therof and the changing culture around them. I've seen this attitude in people of every color but if the majority sharing this up and coming background are black then it will be percieved as a black problem.

Here in Hong Kong, there are similar disputes going on over tourists from Mainland China. They're widely perceived as obnoxious, uncouth "nouveau riche" types and the locals are getting increasingly resentful about having to cater to them. New money seems to make people obnoxious the world over.

The most obnoxious customers here tend to be Americans, in my personal experience, though Russians come a very close second. The British have a worst reputation amongst locals, though, but I think that's more for drunkeness than anything else.

The only restaurant stereotype I've run into has to do more with culinary interests. Heh. One of the most hilarious things I've heard was when I was rooming with a friend of mine (a black guy) in a dorm and I heard him talking in his sleep. Curious, I approached to determine whatever he may be saying... only to distinctly hear "fried chicken".

Needless to say, I was amused.

.... and dang it, fried chicken sounds really good right now.

Ah, but that's really the heart of the matter, innit? There seems to be a distressingly pervasive attitude among you Britons abroad that the entirety of continental Europe exists exclusively to function as their personal boozing ground, with no additional purposes beyond this. But I suppose that might be a matter of relative geographic location: elsewhere in the English-speaking world, folks have to travel quite some distance to reach mainland Europe, and are thus more conscious of being away from home and thus out of place, whereas starting from Great Britain (as much as some folks there prefer to think of it as some sort of remote island fortress surrounded on all sides by the vast and indomitable Atlantic), one merely need jump over a wee brook, which may explain the disproportionate higher tendency among young British folks to unreservedly drunkenly mob their way across the continent as though they owned the place (actually, scratch that--if they owned the place, they might actually bother cleaning up after themselves after they were done wreaking havoc).

Ah, seeking a rational basis for stereotypes, you are a poisonous pursuit.