I have no idea what to make of this except to say, "Hmm, dolphins are an intelligent and social species. If they teach their fellows combat skills...The War on Dolphins!

"Daddy, why do the dolphins hate our freedom?"

Shh! If somebody from Hollywood hears about these assassin dolphins, the consequences could be disastrous!

Think of the children. Can you imagine our children being subjected to that awful a movie? I don't even want to think about it.

All i wanted was Dolphins with Frikkin' laser beams attached to thier heads!

Oh... You beat me to it!!!

I've been worried about this sort of thing for years. The horror! The horror!

[Disclaimer: the above linked-to story was written by a potty mouth.]

You're 32 years too late.

omg, i knew it, so it is true. ive been tell people about this will happen, but nooo, they just called me crazy. Now i have prove! no one can deny me!

Interesting, and I find this rather amusing, for some reason. If some of them are loose, and armed, I still question under what circumstances they'd decide to shoot someone. After all, out in the open ocean, I suspect they'd realize that they aren't going to get any treats from the non-present trainers for shooting divers and swimmers, or whatever their incentive was. Or at least, any one would realize after shooting one person :)

*shakes head*

You poor misguided fools. The dolphins are mere stooges, you're all blind to the real masterminds of this conspiracy.

The penguins.

These black and white bastards have cells in our zoos all over the globe and are planning their attack from their icy fortress in Antarctica. Plotting to subject humanity and conquer the world. All so that they can have the best beach spots! O they pretend they don't like tans, but they do. O sure, they have a rough time with our guns and missile systems but they practice! They practice! And the day will come when they'll make their move...I'll be ready, I just pray to God the world will be.

Penguins? I've predicted Penguins since high school. Only my penguins ahd SPAM cannons and super hoses filled with beer...

but that was in my wildest nightmares....

Wait...did I miss April Fools again?

*Steps out of the shadows eyeing everyone evilly*

Good. Everything is going according to plan. The fools think it's the penguines behind the whole conspiracy...little do they know they're only my unwitting pawns!

Soon they shall see. Soon they shall see my greatness. That day, the world will be born anew into perfection, all the evils created by man having been washed away by the tides.

Ha ha ha...ha ha...HA HA...HAHAHAHAHAHA! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!

Bah. Everyone knows that it's really the prawns. After all, why else would the majority of the internet be dedicated to them?

Bob's post was good, but that was teh awexomest follow-up evar.

I'm l33t, like that guy in high school who always followed every new fad by pretending he'd predicted it.

*loads shotgun*
Where are those penguins? It's been a long time since I could use my irrational hatered of penguins for something constructive...