to "Be a Man"

I'm sure almost everyone here is familiar with the phrase, usually along the lines of, "Oh, grow up and be a man". So, I'm curious as to what you folks think it entails to actually be a man. Or for that matter, what it takes to be a "Lady"

And, do you see these as admirable traits?

Discuss

Nope, I'd rather someone be an idiot (to an extent) then try to act like something they aren't, even more so with women, I'm tired of seeing people try to act out ideal characteristics for their 'sexes'.

The traits for a guy is to take responsibility and to do things for yourself, or to deal with things without complaining, and show strength.

Traits for a woman, or 'lady' as far as I can remember is to be submissive towards others (aka men) and not talk about things that concern 'men' and generally don't speak out. If that is what it means to be a lady then women (womyn), I hope you never become ladies.

We'll deal with being a "Lady" later, though your definition is far from mine.

So, are you saying that you would rather see someone be an idiot rather than, for example, take responsibility for raising the children he fathered?

After all, that's part of the "image".

I ment more along the lines of being manly and not crying and not being sensitive, those are man stereotypes I know, of course I neglected to mention those, shoot me for being absent minded. :)

By the way, by saying "To an extent" I pretty much ruled out the case you mentioned, so no if someone is not gonna take that responsibility then they are being stupid, and 'un-manly' allthough everyone else who knows the same guy could consider him to be 'manly' because he looks good or because he works hard.

As well, if you think being a lady means being polite, clean, (which is another part of the definition) I don't think that a person is any less a 'lady' if they have sixty tattos or if they don't shower, or if they don't say please and thank you.

Essentially were argueing over how specific I was aren't we? Sorry I didn't specify enough about this thread's thread topic.

I don't know what exactly makes a man, but I know of things that will cause me to consider someone not a man. Foremost: any male who doesnot recognise and treat women with respect and honor isn't a man. A man won't hit a lady. And a man won't not defend a lady, either.

But thats just me. I've got some hard-wired ideas when it comes to the sorts of behaviors that males should have towards females.

Okay, I agree with the "Big boys don't cry" part being stupid. I guess we are argueing specifics, and I'm not trying to be difficult or obnoxious.

Do you define being a man as being a "responsible adult", and to what extent should promises be kept?

Until "Death do us part"?

What about the NO police officers who took the badge and pay, and bailed when it got tough?

How about a serviceman who joins in peacetime for the pay and benefits, yet bails when the shooting starts?

I also realize that a lot of this is situational.



I can buy that as a good starting point, what else?

I that to be a man you have to be willing to take responsibility for things. You have to be willing to deal with something if it's under your jurisdiction, no matter the personal cost. The things a man should deal with if they arise include:
-threats to your family
-threats to your country
-threats to innocents of any sort
-threats to society as a whole
-threats to yourself
Threats to yourself and your family involve combat-related things, but also issues such as food and shelter. Threats to your country commonly take the form of foreign aggressors, but can also be things such as crime and similar.

Now, I'm not saying that to be a man you have to throw yourself in harm's way. That's often not the best way to deal with things. If your family is threatened by a criminal, the most effective way to deal with it is to call the police and offer whatever aid they need, not to go after him yourself. If you get yourself hurt, you will not be able to provide for your family. However, if it is something that is best dealt with by you putting your life on the line, you should without a moment's hesitation.

That's my opinion, and the standard I try to fulfill.

To be a man, or a lady, requires maturity, responsibility, and respect for others.

It's very simple.

A Y chromosone. Everything else is just a qualifier.

To be a man? Strength of character and determination are pretty much top of my list, from a female point of view*. The courage of one's convictions, honour, respect for others etc. His behaviour is appropriate for the situation, whether he's playing pool with his buddies or at the opera.

A lady has dignity and is comfortable in herself. Her behaviour is appropriate for the situation, and she can communicate on some level with just about anyone.

Neither loses control in public, and both are respected by their peers.

That's all I got for the moment.

*My ex-husband is spineless and hen-pecked, and I've noticed that because of this I have no respect for him and very little time.

Excellent, M' Lady. I'm not poking fun at you, I simply, personally, agree.

And yet, I fear there's more...

Atticus Finch is a good benchmark.

A Lady? What does it take to be a Lady? 500 words or less? Alright....

A Lady is somebody of the female gender who has the ability to take anything that's handed to her, comprehend it, and then hand it back gracefully. A Lady can handle being treated as a delicate porcelain doll and then twenty minutes later pull out a hammer and nails and fix something. A Lady can be trusted in times of peril and need, and be looked up to with respect, at the same time be fun to joke around with and make lewd comments. A Lady can be anything and everything and nothing all in the same breath and do that without losing hers. But above and beyond all of that, a Lady is a mature and respectful woman, and a credit to society.

And yes, I'm an English major.

What does it mean to be a Man? This is harder, mainly cause I'm a woman.... but I'll give it a whirl.

A Man is a person of the male gender who can dish it out and take it all in the same breath. A Man know his level of Honor and does anything in his power to hold it at that level or make it greater. A Man knows that emotions are necessary to life and isn't afraid to not only show emotions, but show them to others. A Man is respectful to everybody and anybody he meets and is always willing to help. There is no turncoat rule for a Man, and no Man would consider backing out of his duty, whatever he perceives that to be.

And that's about all that I got... Well, except for the whole X and Y chromosone things... as well as several parts not mentionable on these boards.

Right, I'm outta here....

My biggest hesitation with defining "Man" and "Lady" or "Woman" is not explaining what each is, but what each is not. After all, I see no reason why men should not strive for the qualities you all use to define a "Lady," and no reason why women should not strive for qualities used to define a "man."

If I were to define anything at all, it would be an "adult," and really... that's pushing it, too.

And yes, I was a gender studies minor.