And Teddy Weddy was teleported to another webcomic where he
died and created the world. Well, anyway, you need a spectacular gift for that spectacular poem. Please wait...
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Just a little longer...
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About there...
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Annnnddd...
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It's a keyboard that types itself. Well to be more exact, it types what you would type if you were actually typing yourself. It just scans your brain and makes an exact digital duplicate . Then you can hook it up and go do some real world socializing while it handles the online socializing, type papers for work if you want, hack into military installations, or anything else you are able to hook a keyboard up to. It also has the added mouse module so it can interface much easier with any GUI.
It never needs to be feed or to sleep. Though it may get a little "uppity" at first, just unplug it for a few days or a week and the sensory deprivation should teach it to behave. Just repeat as necessary until it understands that hiring someone to cut your brake-lines and framing your spouse/partner is detrimental to both of you.
Have fun with more free time!