I stopped to pet this cute little mini-lop and the next thing I know, I'm on the ground, I'm bleeding, and my wallet is gone. How'd I get here? Where am I?
This alien came over and helped me up. She was really nice until she started sniffing me where I'd been shot. She starts licking me, and then she just tried to eat me. I tried to run, but how am I supposed to after I've been shot. I thank my lucky stars she stopped for some reason, and ran away crying. I felt bad and y'know. I hate when folks cry. I wanted to go comfort her, but I'm not eager to become finger-foods in the name of doing good deeds. I hope she's all right.
There's a dead guy following me around screaming "My world is a crotch!" WHY IS THERE A DEAD GUY FOLLOWING ME!!??
A little bug on the corner is promising me powers beyond my imagination in exchange for a few "favors." He sounds pretty convincing, but something tells me to steer clear.
And as I'm limping along, this ferret came bouncing over. She was cute and all but she spazzed for some reason. I think my glasses reflected the sun light, because she sat up all doe-eyed and gibbering "Ooh... shiny!" And BAM! I'm back on the ground with her sitting on my chest admiring her reflection in my lenses.

I've had a rough day. Can you just point me some place where I can get some rest? Someone recommended checking out the folks at the old Kesandru place, but I dunno.
And please, for the love of mercy, can anyone explain to me what's going on?

Nope. I can't explain nothin'. But welcome anyways. If you put some poetry here (Haiku is preffered but not required), people will give you presents. Maybe one of them can give you some answers.

I don't normally do this, but I think you need these more than I do.

*hands over some bandages*

And, you know, I'd say apartment complex just down the street's good.

Wow, that's a rough story. I guess it's a good thing you ended up here, it's quite soothing for the soul. Even more so, so are these...

*gives Mighty Tacos*

I can't speak for the others, but personally I'll accept your tragic story in lieu of poetry. *gives a Legion flight ring*

Sorry. I have no explanations here to give you. I do, however, have this wondrous beverage to revive you:

*Gives a pint of Winter Ale*

Welcome to sluggy.net, netherwolf.

Cheers!