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 Post subject: Introduction
 Post Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:57 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2017 10:09 am
Posts: 7
Hello!
I've been a member for more than three weeks, so thank you for not deleting me. I started reading Sluggy, the first time, in 2002ish (around the time of the "cow tipping joke" - which got me hooked.) I graduated college, and stopped reading it until 2006ish. After catching up, I feel behind... for like 4 years. I tried to catch up, but must have missed a bunch of story lines (clicking through the archives used to be a bit painful). I still checked in most days to stay up to date, but got increasingly lost.
A few months ago, I was trying to find information on Sasha/Kusari/other Sasha, and realized there was a forum and A BOOKMARK!!!!
Now, slightly obsessively, I'm working my way from the beginning (probably way too fast) and am up to http://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?cha ... 2011-08-26 . At that point I noticed a typo in the 5th panel "Not so Soon! An(d) Torg's part of it?" - so I went to update the wall of typos and found I couldn't.
Not that you care about typos - but I'm just putting that here for my own reference in case I get around to updating the wall of Typos and am approved for the forums.
Thanks!

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 Post subject: Re: Introduction
 Post Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:58 pm 
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Welcome to the forum Freecain!

I see you've had a somewhat...turbulent, reading of the Holy Sluggy Scripture.

I have said before that the Bookmark feature would be handy for people reading the Archive or if they go on hiatus and come back. But there are ones who hate that there is not an actual "back" button --though the "View in Archives" button in a way does what is needed-- or that the update schedule is no longer written in stone, so they would rather stop reading than adjust their old reading habits and use the useful bookmark function. Oh well...

Also I'm sorry to inform you, but the typo you wanted to point out, has already been.

Anyway [member's name here], now I will tell you about the strange tradition aimed at newcomers.

At one time there were Pesterers who pestered you for poetry, but that tends to be very rare nowadays. Even though you may not be pestered, if you do go and post an original poem --usually haiku but any (clean) type is accepted-- written by you, you will most likely receive a gift in return. The "gift" will most likely be useless or maim you. Whichever it may be, it should be interesting and surprising. Lastly, this strange tradition applies to the pestering not the poetry. You are not required to do anything more to be a member here...unless you want to possibly get a [name of harmlessly fatal item here] or some other type of gift.

Now go forth and do (almost) whatever you want, just don't speculate in Reactions.

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 Post subject: Re: Introduction
 Post Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:54 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2017 10:09 am
Posts: 7
Thanks for the welcome, great Zillatain
Writing a poem shouldn't be much of a strain
I'll appreciate the insights
on the story lines Pete writes
Even as they get more insane

Now that Torg has learned Oasis is a satellite,
And is trapped on a ship with no way to fight
Escape plans are as strained
as leaving the Demension of Pain
Perhaps Bun Bun has an Egg to set it all right?

No matter the twist and turns and bad jokes
I'm glad for this community of folks
through 20 years of these stories
recaps, fillers and a few Zoes,
that I can share all of the stupid in-jokes.

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 Post subject: Re: Introduction
 Post Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:19 pm 
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OK. The newbies are definitely stepping up their poetry game. My gift to you Freecain is this hearty round of applause!

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 Post subject: Re: Introduction
 Post Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:55 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2017 10:09 am
Posts: 7
Is this one of those "careful what you wish for" type of things?
Would this be a "Hearty" round of applause is being done by a vaguely racist depiction of an Indian Priest chanting "Kali Maa, Kali Maa" directly to my heart.

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 Post subject: Re: Introduction
 Post Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2018 3:08 pm 
Member of the Fraternal Order of the Emergency Pants
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Um, no. It's just a normal round of applause. We're not all a bunch of Zillatains. ;-)

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 Post subject: Re: Introduction
 Post Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 12:41 am 
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Don't worry, my gifts --unlike Dodger's-- are not hiding any nefarious subtext at all. They always love/hate/maim/eviscerate/hug all human/nonhuman gift recipients equally! Which reminds me that I need to go and find you a wonderful gift. Wait there on the big "X" on the floor.

Be right back! Oh, almost forgot. Don't look up. For any reason.

...

...

I'm back, and you will not bel- You looked up didn't you? Yes you did. It's going to take years of counseling to get THAT image out of your head, or sleep normally again, or speak in a normal human language without devolving into screaming. Oh well, I did warn you. Anyway, I have your gift!

It is an Omniscient Bag!

Once a day (every 24 Earth hours) you can reach into the bag and pull out the exact thing you --or someone near you at some point-- will need to make it through the day, but you did not know you needed.

Might be bandages because you or someone will need help stopping the bleeding. A pen since you might lose your only other one at an inopportune point. Maybe a pocket-sized antimatter nuke since your scheme to blackmail a small country needs some serious help. Who knows what it might be! Well no matter, the bag knows!

Enjoy!

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 Post subject: Re: Introduction
 Post Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 10:49 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2017 10:09 am
Posts: 7
Okay - day two, and this bag just keeps giving me breath mints. Is it saying something?

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 Post subject: Re: Introduction
 Post Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:35 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:07 pm
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Location: Someplace other than where I am.
I'm pretty sure you have somebody around you who badly needs those breath mints. So you must find this person as soon as possible --if it's not too late already!

Run up to every person and shove your nose into their mouth and breath deeply until you find the person. If they do not cooperate with your life saving task, just punch them in the gut and sniff the air as it rapidly exits their body through their mouth.

You should find them in no time at all.

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