Captain Scott Peter Bombadil Nikolai Farnsworth Tiberious Morpheus Goblinking.
Also known as Cap'n Scott. Roughly based on David Bowie.

Scott grew up as king of a goblin-like race of aliens (seriously, he was born and BAM! King). But after punting the general too many times, the militant goblin poked him in the eye during a coup. Wasn't enough for a patch, but it does give some crazy coloring. Deciding he was fed up with this s***, he became a pirate. He was a magician for a while, but he's a pirate now. He's pretty sure.

Ships: 1
Weapons: -1
Allure: 3
Swords: 1
Health: 0

Jack Ersatz
There are some men who are defined by their greatness. There are many who are defined by their mediocrity. But it takes a very special man to be great through his mediocrity. That man... is Jack Ersatz. An experienced pirate, and a boon to any ship, Jack knows how to do everything pretty well. Oh, he'll never be the great hero, or the legendary swashbuckler, or the brilliant gadgeteer genius. He won't be the guy who saves the princess, or who takes on the giant tiger-alien in hand-to-hand combat. But when the chips are down, and your best pilot has a couple of superfluous navels, you'll be glad that you won't have to resort to an NPC replacement.

Ships: 1
Weapons: 1
Allure: 1
Swords: 1
Health: 0

Master Chief Eric Black AKA "Chief"

Marine Master Chief Eric Black, or Chief for short and his complement of space marines were abandoned on a hostile alien mudball after learning that the government they fought and died for was not as nice and noble as the recruitment officer had lead them to believe. Their very existence is a threat to the gov't. Declared traitors, left for dead and denied their pensions and benefits, they decided that the best way to fight back and get rich doing so was to become pirates. Fortunately, there just happened to be a ship in port.

Ships: 0
Weapons: 3
Allure: -1
Swords: 1
Health: 1

Dr. Jed Kyle
Dr. Jed Kyle is a brilliant surgeon. But thanks to an accident in the bio lab, when he drinks too much he simply becomes completely incapable of feeling pain. Fortunately, being drunk also makes him heal quickly, for some reason. Because of his drinking problems, Dr. Kyle has problems holding down jobs in legitimate ports; but piracy? Well, pirates always love a good grog, and need a good doctor.

Ships: 0
Weapons: -1
Allure: 0
Swords: 1
Health: 4

Teigl
Teigl is good with ships. Very, very good. He also is good with ship guns. He keeps both in excellent condition. He is constantly pulling panels off to reroute connections more efficiently, or disassembling the entire control panel so as to place the buttons in a better configuration so as to have a faster reaction in combat. Actually, if not for Adande, Teigl might never leave port. For Teigl, anything short of perfection is failure, but Adande is the one person for whom Teigl will sigh, put everything back and let them leave anyway. Mainly because he knows she appreciates his work, and that she'll let him take it apart again when they stop.

Ships: 3
Weapons: 2
Allure: 0
Swords: -1
Health: 0

Adande
Adande is a thirtyish human with some Anthrope in her background, standing six-foot-five and weighing 350 pounds Earth weight. Her forearms and her legs below the knee are furry, with a black jaguar spot pattern, and she has golden eyes, a stub nose, and a mouthful of sharp teeth. She has dark skin and waist-length dark hair that she wears in dreads tied up with wire. She has quite a few scars.

Ships: 3
Weapons: 0
Allure: -1
Swords: 2
Health: 0

Deck the Native
Deck is a creature of indeterminate race and gender. No others of its kind have ever been found. It stands about seven feet tall, but usually walks hunched over, and has grayish skin and very large, black eyes. It appears to have no other sensory organs, but has no difficulty responding to sounds and scents. Its skill at ranged combat is unparalleled, and it communicates telepathically, like the Silar, except that it is incapable of speaking directly.
Deck has taken on multiple jobs on a variety of ships, but it has never really fit in. Fitting in is how qualified gunners lose jobs, but sometimes, it's how they wind up working for a Goblinking. Only time will tell whether that is true for him.

Ships: 0
Weapons: 4
Allure: -1
Swords: 0
Health: 1

Moist von Expy (Edwin Spangler) (Damp von Merwe)
Known under dozens of names, including Rudyard Stark, Alfred Kipling, and Have You Seen This Man, D. van der Merwe wears false names more often than false moustaches (of which he has a large supply) or unnecessary spectacles (similarly); to the point that he can hardly remember his real name. He can hold his own in a sword fight, but his real strength lies in the realm of the con man; he has a very forgettable and above all generic face, and a gift for talking people into letting him hold their valuables for 'just a minute' while they go off somewhere else.
Police forces around the galaxy are looking for a man with a handlebar moustache and square-framed glasses who stole a priceless set of pearls from the Duchess of Degran, and for the cleanshaven man in the bowler hat who stole three thousand in small bills with a forged cheque from the Bank of Brie a week later..

Ships: -1
Weapons: 0
Allure: 4
Swords: 1
Health: 0

Gristle
Gristle is a small (approx. 2 ft tall) simian anthrope, resembling a circus monkey from hell. Gristle has always had a talent for mixing things together, he has been known to make some of the most delicious foods imaginable, he also has an uncanny talent for modern chemistry, easily producing anything from aphrodisiacs to explosives from seemingly innocuous materials.

Ships: 0
Weapons: 0
Allure: 1
Swords: 0
Health: 3

Mikay D'Zell
Mikay D'Zell was a lieutenant captain of a small sloop-of-war sailing for the Anthrope Crown. When the monarchy fell, she refused to renounce her loyalty to the king, and so lost her commission and was thrown out of the navy. For the last couple of years, she has been making a marginal living amongst the backwaters of the Antilles sector. When the officers of the Jaynestown Lady came around, she leapt at the chance to join up. Now she's looking for a chance to make herself indispensible. (As a navigator, perhaps?)

Ship: 2
Weapon: 1
Allure: 0
Sword: 1
Health: 0

SPACE PIRATES: Pirates! IN SPACE!

So a few weeks ago I was brainstorming and decided not to run a game. But top of the list of games I didn’t run was SPACE PIRACY, and because my copy of Sid Meier’s Pirates! wont work, it looks like this thing is happening!

Do you like ACTION? How about ADVENTURE? Perhaps DARING DO and BATTLES on the HIGH SEA? Well come aboard, Matey for (almost) all of that (except IN SPACE!)

Your characters will be the Captain and chief crew (First Officer, Bosun, Surgeon, Gunner, etc.) of one of the least feared, reputationless ships plying the spaceways: The Name of Ship Goes Here!*

Now if you’re reading this and you’re thinking “What a minute, didn’t Pete do a storyline something like this?” You’re Correct! And if you think “Wasn’t there a spacey remake of Treasure Island some years ago?” You’re ALSO Correct! And if you wonder “Hey, isn’t this like that card game by the Car Wars people and the guy who drew XXXenophile?” Then I can’t put one over on you!

And if you got all of those references without clicking the links, then you should maybe be the Captain.

I love simple systems (BBotN, SPIRIT, Easiest 100gp, etc.) so I decided to use the five ‘bonus skills’ from Pirates! as appropriate skills, and then FreakyBoy, our resident Acronymer made them into a fantastic acronym for me: S.W.A.S.H.!

SHIPS – Your skill at the day to day operation of a Space Sailing Vessel. Can you HAND, REEF and STEER? Climb the rigging without falling off into the Aether? SWAB a DECK? I hope you can!

WEAPONS – Mostly Cannons here, but also Grenados, Pistols and Rifles. Reloading, aiming, making sure a loose cannon doesn’t smash through the railing ont eh other side of the ship on a roll and cause chaos. Maybe you’re a marksman? Only William can Tell!

ALLURE – Wit and Charm can be as important to a pirate as any martial or sailing skills. Perhaps you want a better deal when selling off some absolutely legitimately obtained goods. Maybe there’s a ball, and YOU were invited by the Planetary Governor’s beautiful daughter (or beautiful son!) will you be able to hold up a conversation? Dance a Waltz? IDENTIFY THE SHRIMP FORK?!

SWORDS – They stab people. Don’t hold the sharp end.

HEALTH – Not only your intrinsic ability to absorb punishment, but also your ability to patch up those who have already absorbed punishment. Yes, those should maybe be two attributes. No, I am not going to split them. Tell me if you’re making a doctor or a big meat headed lunker, alright?

Attributes start at a zero! This is average!

Attributes can be reduced to minus one! This is absolutely poop and you will definitely fail at any skill checks involving a skill you have a minus one in unless the other guy also has a minus one and in that case WHO LET Timmy “All Thumbs (Figuratively)” and Johnny “No Thumbs, literally” with their minus ones in SHIPS race the lifeboats again? WAS IT YOU, FRANK? WE’RE GONNA KEELHAUL YOU THIS TIME!

Attributes max out at a four! This is really damn good! Like… Burt Lancaster good! Like… Errol Flynn good!

You get FOUR POINTS to add to your attributes. YOU CANNOT HAVE MORE THAN ONE -1. YOU (LITERALLY) CANNOT HAVE MORE THAN ONE 4.

*You will get to pick the name of the ship. YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO CALL IT THE “Name of Ship Goes Here”

Crew: these guys make the ship work. A ship has a minimum crew, and a maximum crew. More crew means you can do things faster (like reload guns, or work the sials) but crew needs fed, so you have more tonnage that needs to be devoted to food. Also, the bigger the crew the less loot officers get when everyone is paid off.

Guns: two types: light cannon and heavy cannon. Heavy cannon are superior in range and damage, but take twice the crew to work and weigh twice as much.

Tonnage: how much you can carry, divided among cannon, cargo and food.

Health: Hull and Sails/Rigging. Hull damagge will sink you, Sails/Rigging damage will leave you ddead in the Ether.

Speed: In sector travel this determines how long it takes to go from one sector to another. In combat it halps with your SHIP checks for positioning.

Your ship: The Name of Ship Goes Here is a Sloop.

A Sloop can have up to 75 Crew, and needs a minimum of 15. A Sloop can have 12 guns (or 6 heavy.) A Sloop can hold 50 tonnes of cargo. A Sloop is Fast.

Your Sloop has 20 Crew (PCs don't count), 8 light cannon, 20 tonnes of food (2 month's food), and has no damage to it's hull or sails/rigging.

The Antilles Sector
a brief history

The Antilles Sector has been settled for some hundred years now, since the first long haul colony vessel plied its way across the Ether and took orbit around Hispaniola. It was a long journey fraught with danger, but the bounty of the Antilles sector was rich, and other colonists were already on their way before the first boats had made planetfall.

The Humans were not only the first race to cross the Atlantic Expanse to the Antilles, they were also the most prolific, and quickly put colonies on the major planets of the Cuban and Hispaniola systems, as well as many of the other systems of the sector.

Humanity was not alone for long and soon spaceships from the Silar Star Empire, the Antrope Republic and the Grom Alliance were bringing colonists to settle planets, or to convert their ships to space stations through out the sector. Within forty years the Antilles cluster was bustling.

With people comes crime, and the ships that sailed between the wealthy colonies of the Antilles were ripe targets for the worst kind of beings: Pirates. Just your kind of sentients.

Back across the Atlantic Expanse in their home systems Humanity, the Silar, the Anthropes and the Grom are just four of many sentient species which have starships, and the four races are well known to one another. The Silar share a telepathic gestalt with one another, and feed on starlight. They are long lived and noble, and set apart from the other races of Home. They are "Of Home, but apart from it" of their own admission, and do not have the close ties that the other starfaring races of Home share with one another. The Silar have the largest navy in space.

The Anthropes are likely the closest of the other races to both the Silar and Humanity. The Silar and Anthropes share a long history of both warfare and close ties, with the two species having at times conquered or ruled one another to the point where the Anthrope genome contains many traces of Silar. The Anthropes are a hodgepodge race. Humanoid, but with much genetic diversity. The Anthropes recently overthrew their monarch, but the fledgling Republic is ready to collapse any decade while the royals wait in the wings. Most Anthrope colonies still acknowledge the King as Sovereign.

The Grom are a small people, much focused on trade and technological development. They long ago left monarchy behind and their small group of planets are ruled in a republic, and are allied loosely with the Silar, who protect them from Humanity. Grom trade ships are the largest in space, and the best protected, as the Gromian Antilles Sector Trade Authority is essentially a government and military unto itself.

Humanity was the first race to settle the Antilles sector, and the most numerous species in the region. Quick to exploit the native races of the Antilles Cluster, Human colonies grew fat and rich, but when the other races of Home arrived in the Antilles they found that fat Human galleons made easy targets. However, the abundance of Human colonies also mean that there are more Human-built ships in the skies than any other.

At the moment all four of the races of Home who have settled the Antilles Sector also find themselves in a state of shifting alliance and war as political pressures from Home erupt in the Colonies. Each new ship that crosses the Atlantic Expanse brings new news and new orders, all of which must be followed, even if they are out of date by the time they arrive. It is a chaotic time, and Piracy is rife.

The Jaynestown Lady
Standard Sloop
Two masts
50 tonnes hold
Eight cannon (light)

Officers
Mister Scott Goblinking, Captain (53 gd)
Mister Jack Ersatz, First Officer
Chief Eric Black, Chief of Marines (17 gd)
Doctor Jed Kyle, Surgeon

Crew
Mister Teigl, Cox'n (steers the ship)
Miss Adande, Bos'n (directs the crew)
Deck, Gunner
Mister Edwin Spangler, Purser, Quartermaster
Mister Gristle, Cook

Forty-three Able Seamen (two Silar, sixteen Anthropes, twenty-five Humans)
Eight Marines, formerly of the Terran Conquistadors

Loot
Fifty-tonnes food and provisions inc. Spices for food
None