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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:48 pm 
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SPACE PIRATES: Pirates! IN SPACE!

So a few weeks ago I was brainstorming and decided not to run a game. But top of the list of games I didn’t run was SPACE PIRACY, and because my copy of Sid Meier’s Pirates! wont work, it looks like this thing is happening!

Do you like ACTION? How about ADVENTURE? Perhaps DARING DO and BATTLES on the HIGH SEA? Well come aboard, Matey for (almost) all of that (except IN SPACE!)

Your characters will be the Captain and chief crew (First Officer, Bosun, Surgeon, Gunner, etc.) of one of the least feared, reputationless ships plying the spaceways: The Name of Ship Goes Here!*

Now if you’re reading this and you’re thinking “What a minute, didn’t Pete do a storyline something like this?” You’re Correct! And if you think “Wasn’t there a spacey remake of Treasure Island some years ago?” You’re ALSO Correct! And if you wonder “Hey, isn’t this like that card game by the Car Wars people and the guy who drew XXXenophile?” Then I can’t put one over on you!

And if you got all of those references without clicking the links, then you should maybe be the Captain.

I love simple systems (BBotN, SPIRIT, Easiest 100gp, etc.) so I decided to use the five ‘bonus skills’ from Pirates! as appropriate skills, and then FreakyBoy, our resident Acronymer made them into a fantastic acronym for me: S.W.A.S.H.!

SHIPS – Your skill at the day to day operation of a Space Sailing Vessel. Can you HAND, REEF and STEER? Climb the rigging without falling off into the Aether? SWAB a DECK? I hope you can!

WEAPONS – Mostly Cannons here, but also Grenados, Pistols and Rifles. Reloading, aiming, making sure a loose cannon doesn’t smash through the railing ont eh other side of the ship on a roll and cause chaos. Maybe you’re a marksman? Only William can Tell!

ALLURE – Wit and Charm can be as important to a pirate as any martial or sailing skills. Perhaps you want a better deal when selling off some absolutely legitimately obtained goods. Maybe there’s a ball, and YOU were invited by the Planetary Governor’s beautiful daughter (or beautiful son!) will you be able to hold up a conversation? Dance a Waltz? IDENTIFY THE SHRIMP FORK?!

SWORDS – They stab people. Don’t hold the sharp end.

HEALTH – Not only your intrinsic ability to absorb punishment, but also your ability to patch up those who have already absorbed punishment. Yes, those should maybe be two attributes. No, I am not going to split them. Tell me if you’re making a doctor or a big meat headed lunker, alright?

Attributes start at a zero! This is average!

Attributes can be reduced to minus one! This is absolutely poop and you will definitely fail at any skill checks involving a skill you have a minus one in unless the other guy also has a minus one and in that case WHO LET Timmy “All Thumbs (Figuratively)” and Johnny “No Thumbs, literally” with their minus ones in SHIPS race the lifeboats again? WAS IT YOU, FRANK? WE’RE GONNA KEELHAUL YOU THIS TIME!

Attributes max out at a four! This is really damn good! Like… Burt Lancaster good! Like… Errol Flynn good!

You get FOUR POINTS to add to your attributes. YOU CANNOT HAVE MORE THAN ONE -1. YOU (LITERALLY) CANNOT HAVE MORE THAN ONE 4.

*You will get to pick the name of the ship. YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO CALL IT THE “Name of Ship Goes Here”

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:04 pm 
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Sounds Nifty! And since I have far to much free time in the evenings, count me in! I'm thinking either Gunner or Chief of Marines, ie. the guy who leads boarding actions.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:29 pm 
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You guys are explicitly pirates, so I don't think a company of marines would make sense to have, personally. I do like the idea, though, which makes me sad that it would have worked better on a different type of ship.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:33 pm 
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Dr. Jed Kyle is a brilliant surgeon. But thanks to an accident in the bio lab, when he drinks too much he simply becomes completely incapable of feeling pain. Fortunately, being drunk also makes him heal quickly, for some reason. Because of his drinking problems, Dr. Kyle has problems holding down jobs in legitimate ports; but piracy? Well, pirates always love a good grog, and need a good doctor.

Ships: 0
Weapons: -1
Allure: 0
Swords: 1
Health: 4

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:49 pm 
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How about a company of ex-marines? Abandoned and left to die on some hostile backwater mudball by corrupt evil govt X. Denied our pensions and benefits, we sign on with a pirate crew to enact social reform and get lots of money.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:51 pm 
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If it's all the same to you guys, I'll try for a Captain Scott Peter Bombadil Nikolai Farnsworth Tiberious Morpheus Goblinking. Also known as Cap'n Scott. Roughly based on David Bowie.

Scott grew up as king of a goblin-like race of aliens (seriously, he was born and BAM! King). But after punting the general too many times, the militant goblin poked him in the eye during a coup. Wasn't enough for a patch, but it does give some crazy coloring. Deciding he was fed up with this s***, he became a pirate. He was a magician for a while, but he's a pirate now. He's pretty sure.

Ships: 1
Weapons: -1
Allure: 3
Swords: 1
Health: 0

EDIT: Changed Stats to be practical.


Last edited by Stan Cold on Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:54 pm 
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Love it. Comes with a built in enemy, too. The Corps and King you all committed treason against by going AWOL.

Neither the ships Surgeon (justifiable) or Captain (bizarrely) know how to fire a cannon worth a goddamn. I find this intriguing.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:57 pm 
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He's the Captain. He leads the ship and stands in front of a mirror saying "Names Captain Scott, ma'am." He has crew to do the rest.

EDIT: But he should do something with a sword.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:14 pm 
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Skitzophrenik wrote:
Neither the ships Surgeon (justifiable) or Captain (bizarrely) know how to fire a cannon worth a goddamn. I find this intriguing.

That's what ex-marines are for.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:23 pm 
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Heh, they call it AWOL, we call it not having the good grace to die when we were supposed to.

Marine Master Chief Eric Black, or Chief for short and his complement of space marines were abandoned on a hostile alien mudball after learning that the government they fought and died for was not as nice and noble as the recruitment officer had lead them to believe. Their very existence is a threat to the gov't. Declared traitors, left for dead and denied their pensions and benefits, they decided that the best way to fight back and get rich doing so was to become pirates. Fortunately, there just happened to be a ship in port.

Master Chief Eric Black AKA "Chief"

Ships: 0
Weapons: 3
Allure: -1
Swords: 1
Health: 1

edit:
FreakyBoy wrote:
Skitzophrenik wrote:
Neither the ships Surgeon (justifiable) or Captain (bizarrely) know how to fire a cannon worth a goddamn. I find this intriguing.

That's what ex-marines are for.

Damn straight.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:24 pm 
Evil Game Minister of DOOM!
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SWASH works like SPIRIT: your attribute is added to a d10 roll and that is compared to a difficulty or someone else's roll+attribute to determine success. DCs are gonna usually be between 3 and 8, but for very very difficult things they could go to 11.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:32 pm 
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Scott etc. Morpheous as Your Captain
Jed Kyle as Your Ship's Doctor
Eric Black as... Your Bartender?

On the Love Space Boat!

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:41 pm 
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Don't mock, Eric mixes a mean mango lassi.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:44 pm 
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I love this place so much. Find two more, people. Maybe try to find a Sluggette, we have a few (do we still have any down here other than Inspy?)

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:50 pm 
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Ships: -1
Weapons: 0
Allure: 4
Swords: 1
Health: 0

Known under dozens of names, including Rudyard Stark, Alfred Kipling, and Have You Seen This Man, D. van der Merwe wears false names more often than false moustaches (of which he has a large supply) or unnecessary spectacles (similarly); to the point that he can hardly remember his real name. He can hold his own in a sword fight, but his real strength lies in the realm of the con man; he has a very forgettable and above all generic face, and a gift for talking people into letting him hold their valuables for 'just a minute' while they go off somewhere else.

He also has a gift for vanishing quickly and thoroughly from the scene as soon as the mark's back is turned.

Police forces around the galaxy are looking for a man with a handlebar moustache and square-framed glasses who stole a priceless set of pearls from the Duchess of Degran, and for the cleanshaven man in the bowler hat who stole three thousand in small bills with a forged cheque from the Bank of Brie a week later.

He's also a card sharp, a pickpocket, a forger and, by necessity, a world-class expert on Getting Out Of Town In A Hurry. As a pirate, however, he has one glaring flaw; he gets space sick all too easily, and as a result has no idea what to do on a ship when it's moving.

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